Last night I had a dream. I was in Sorrento eating at the restaurant “Don Alfonso.”

The restaurant was full, and I did not make any reservation, so I asked to sit at the same table with two gentlemen because their table had an empty chair. They agreed, and I began introducing myself by saying, “Thank you for letting me sit here with you. My name is Ennio Ammendola.” They introduced themselves by saying, “Hi, my name is James Prochaska, and my friend here is Carlo DiClemente!” Right after, to make a joke, I said, “I bet that now you are going to tell me that you are the ones who have developed the Trans-theoretical Model of Behavior Change…am I right?” They looked surprised and said, “Yes, we are the ones!” I replied, “To repay back for your kindness, I would like to offer you the dinner, but allow me to ask you one question!” They replied sarcastically, “Would you ask us if you drink red or white when you are eating fish?” I said, “NOOOOOO…I need to know if REBT is an action stage therapy!” They were silent for one minute, looking at each other, and I was sure that I had compromised the dinner, but suddenly they said, “Okay Ennio…123 REBT ACTION!”

I told them that I had been reading their books, and I had always been interested in how people change in therapy. I also told them that I believe in the principles of REBT, and I am very concerned about helping clients to ease their psychological pain. But I also told them that sometimes I am unsuccessful because I expect too much from them before they are ready or I do not realize that they are ready to change but yet I am holding them back. So they said, “Where has all your REBT 123 Action gone?” I felt I was too virulent in my explanation, and so I stopped by asking them, “Please help me with the 123 REBT Action dilemma!”

Dr. DiClemente looked at me and asked, “Why have you picked action for REBT?” and I said, “Because the nature of REBT, with its disputations of irrational beliefs, is mostly effective when clients want to modify their thinking/behaviors in your action stage!” Dr. DiClemente replied, “So all your clients at the Institute are in the “action” stage? You truly are the ultimate 123 REBT Action therapist!” I replied, “No, I was wrong…I guess I need to say 123 REBT Change stages!” He agreed with me but also said that he understood what I was trying to tell him, and he told me, “Dear Ennio, one of the greatest strengths of REBT is that it accepts all clients unconditionally and is able to work with them at any of their stages of change that they present in session. I would also agree with you that the action stage sounds more appealing for REBT’s goal-oriented nature, but I believe that REBT has more to say than just focusing on the action stage!”

Then Dr. Prochaska, who had been silent, said, “Carlo, since Ennio has been so kind to offer dinner to us both, please let me also interact with him.”  He looked at me and said, “I am going to ask you six questions in sequence, and please answer each of them.”

  1. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “precontemplation stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?
  2. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “contemplation stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?
  3. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “preparation stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?
  4. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “action stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?
  5. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “maintenance stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?
  6. If a client comes to see you and he is at the “termination stage”, are you going to tell him that you cannot help him with REBT?

I listened to him carefully, and I said,

  1. “At the precontemplation stage”, I am going to help him to see the problem by knowing that he has no intention to change.
  2. At the “contemplation stage”, I am going to help him to see that he has a problem, and I am going to assist him to think about solving it.
  3. At the “preparation stage”, I am going to help with his planning to take actions to ease his psychological pain.
  4. At the “action stage”, I am going to help him modify his behaviors, emotions and cognitions.
  5. At the “maintenance stage”, I am going to help him to consolidate the gains that he has acquired previously.
  6. At the “termination stage”, I am going to help him to understand that some problems may terminate forever, while others require a lifetime of maintenance.

Finally, they looked at me and asked, “So what about 123 REBT ACTION?” and I said, “I am amazed at the fact that REBT encompasses all the stages and can work with clients at any stage they are in. REBT can assist clients in any domain of their lives!”

We just arrived at the end of our dinner, and I thanked them for the exquisite conversation. I invited them to the Institute in NY, and I went to pay for the dinner. While I was leaving, I saw them again, and Dr. DiClemente said, “Ennio, tomorrow we are visiting Amalfi…come for dinner! 123 Action! 123 Action!” and I replied, “May the change be with you!”

Ennio Ammendola, M.A., MHC