By Candice Siu, Ph.D.
It is incredibly easy to fall into the habit of taking things for granted, from clean running water, free education, to the luxury of the internet. It is even easier to go down the slippery slope of complaining about minor inconveniences, such as a train running late, the uncooperating weather, or petty interpersonal misunderstandings. I recently visited a city in South East Asia, where the conveniences of everyday life in a developed country are all but a dream. Yet, everyone is friendly, hard-working, and appears content. I met a local bus driver who travelled from his village, where the nights are still illuminated by candle-light. He moved to the city to receive training as an English teacher but relinquished his aspirations for a higher-paying job to support his family. I met another person who can only afford breakfast and dinner, while we, from the developed world, callously discard half-eaten meals. In developed countries, such stories are regarded as sob stories, and yet, this is the reality for much of the rest of the world. Given how content these individuals appeared, circumstances are clearly not the sole determinants of one’s sense of well-being; the way in which one regards different situations plays a significant role in how one feels. I was reflecting upon this and found that what I perceive as minor setbacks at home become completely insignificant. Instead of blindly demanding that things go according to plan, or catastrophize about minor mishaps, I am able to more readily accept life unconditionally, thereby experience less anxiety or anger. Rather than wasting much energy recounting how things could be different, I can appreciate how well life has already treated me, but to also focus on the tasks at hand. Dr. Ellis has long proposed the philosophy of unconditional life acceptance and I truly see the value of this way of thinking. I believe that it is challenging to continually remind oneself of this, but it is helpful to think of those who are dealt much less favorable cards in life and still experience relatively little anger, depression, or anxiety about their life circumstances. However, I do hope that life circumstances improve for these people as well.
#throwbackthursday #tbt