Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Wait! Remember the B-C Connection

by Amanda Rosinski, M.A.

Recently, I’ve been watching a series on Netflix that features a young boy who has been diagnosed with autism. The series describes many of the challenges that parents who have children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders face on a daily basis. In one particular episode, the son was acting out in the grocery store checkout line. He and his father were in the express lane, and he had counted the number of items the person in front of them had to checkout, and began yelling that the person was breaking the rules of the express lane.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

Watch Your Language!

by Mark Schiffman, M.S. 

One day, a professor interrupted his lecture and pulled out a bag of biscuits from his briefcase, mumbling that he was hungry and had to eat something. A kind and considerate professor, he offered some of these biscuits to his students.  As the students chewed these tasty biscuits, the professor showed his pupils the original packaging, which revealed the words “Dog Cookies.” Two of the students who were eating the “cookies” immediately became nauseous, put their hand in front of their mouths and ran out of the classroom to the bathroom.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post, Uncategorized

Controlling the Uncontrollable

by Megan Sy, M.S. 

There are a variety of ways through which we trick ourselves into believing that we are exerting control over our circumstances. Demandingness is one of those. Demands are beliefs that include the idea that something or someone should or must be a certain way. Examples include, “She shouldn’t act this way” or “This must turn out how I want it to.” Demands are irrational by virtue of their illogicality and impossibility. There is no reason why something must happen just because we want it to.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

Stormy Weather

by Rosina Pzena, M.S. 

I think we have all noticed that the weather has been very unstable lately. Freezing and snowing one day, and then a few days later sunny and 60+ degrees Fahrenheit, then back to cold and rain. While the warm weather has certainly been a treat, especially for early March in New York, it has also been frustrating to me. I have already had some difficulty figuring out which coat to wear and ended up being too hot or too cold when outside.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

Emotional Accountability

by Carly Mayer, M.S. 

One of the main foundations of REBT is that we control our own feelings because we make choices that result in these feelings. So, even though society often tells us (and we tell each other) to blame others for the way we feel; in fact, we have the opportunity to decide how we feel.

Think about this scenario:

Your roommate leaves a huge pile of dishes in the sink for the seemingly 100th time.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

Inconsistent Weather

by Johna Hansen, L.C.S.W.

One day this week it was warm.  Another day it was warm, but windy, so it was chilly in the shade, but warm in the sun.  It is snowing now.  Then, it will be hot in a couple of days.  The forecast for the weather seems to be unbelievable lately.  This week, people tended to start conversations with, “I can’t believe it is supposed to snow later this week.  It’s gorgeous out right now!” or “I just don’t know how to dress for this weather lately.”   Even when I asked an employee in CVS this morning how she was doing, she referred directly to the weather stating this weather was out of control. … Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

You Can Only Have One

by Raymond Moody, M.A.

Sometimes we are fortunate enough that we have multiple appealing options to choose from. We may look at the dessert menu and see that two of our favorite desserts are listed. We may be invited to two different parties on the same night by two of our really good friends. Some of my friends have expressed a lot of excitement when they get multiple Tinder dates for the same weekend but sometimes they are on the same night and they must choose.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

The Three X’s of Being Assertive

by Mark Schiffman, M.S. 

Many of us tend to get angry when those around us, whether family members, roommates, or coworkers behave in a manner of which we disapprove.  Whether it be our kids or spouse not cleaning up sufficiently after themselves, our roommates making too much noise when we are trying to sleep, or our coworkers once again missing the deadline.  While we may have the right to prefer that other people behave in the way that we wish, if we express anger and resentment when they don’t, our behavior might not yield the desired result of them finally listening.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

Planning Works… Until it Doesn’t

by Megan Sy, M.S. 

Whether they are specific and detailed or vague and approximate, plans orient us toward our goals. Both short-term and long-term planning often serve an adaptive purpose – it helps guide our decisions and actions, for instance. However, the demand for control may also create stress, anxiety, and fear. Along with these negative emotions, the rigid demand for certainty can result in avoidant, overly cautious, or self-sabotaging behavior.

The difficulty with this kind of thinking, of course, is that we can never gain absolute control over anything.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post

REBT with Parents

by Rosina Pzena, M.S. 

I have been working with some parents recently, and so I have been spending some time thinking about how REBT might be able to help parents. From my experience, it seems that many parents have strong shoulds, or what we call irrational shoulds (demands), about how they should parent, and how their children should act. For example, many parents have difficulty with the idea of positive reinforcement, because they think their child absolutely should already know how to behave appropriately without gaining rewards for doing so.… Read more...

Posted in rebt-cbt-post