Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

The Need for Approval

by Jeff Goldman, M.A.

As a new extern at the Ellis Institute, I find myself trying to become familiarized with REBT’s tenets and principles. Not only is it like learning a foreign language, it equates to adopting a new philosophy on life. It is this new take on living that can potentially foster a tremendous sense of autonomy and empowerment. More specifically, this auspicious proposition really resonated with me in the context of our interpersonal experiences.… Read more...

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Stay With It

by William Taboas, M.A.

Have you ever savored moments of joy, relaxation, or bliss? Feels great to do so; you just want to make the moments, but mostly the emotions that go with the occasion, last forever. We know that that emotions are ephemeral…they all pass. And we go to great lengths to replicate them. Now, let’s talk about unsavory emotions: sadness, remorse, regret, worry…you name it. We want to have the opposite experience of these emotions, meaning that we like them to end quicker than they last.… Read more...

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Fear of Failure

by William Taboas, M.A.

Have you ever asked yourself, why do we fear failure? And, can I get over this fear? I was listening to a Freakonomics Radio podcast episode named “Failure is Your Friend”, where they stated “When failure is stigmatized and demonized as a society, people try to avoid it at all costs, even though it represents nothing more than a setback”. But, maybe, failure can be your ally. Most successful people fail at mostly everything that they have ever done.… Read more...

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How rude!

by Deniz Sidali, M.A. 

Practically every time I step outside my door, I encounter rude behavior in New York City – people texting while walking into me on the street, commuters with bad body odor on the subway coughing in my face without thinking to cover their mouths, patrons walking through doors that I hold open without a simple “thank you”, people in my neighborhood cutting me on the line at the bank – and the list goes on and on!  … Read more...

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Awfulizing time

by Kristen Tobias, M.A. 

I would like to discuss the premise that some events are reasonably characterized as “awful” and propose one strategy for dealing with this reality.  Those who practice REBT in its unadulterated form will not agree with this blog.  In an attempt to help individuals to cope, Dr. Ellis would anti-awfulize all events.  If you were talking or thinking about an event, it could be worse, and this reality nullified its awfulness.  The rationale is that awfulizing, or thinking about an event as horrific and terrible engenders unhealthy negative emotions like anger, anxiety, and depression, which impede coping abilities. … Read more...

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Lessons learned

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A. 

I have learned an abundant amount of knowledge during my time at the Albert Ellis Institute and would like to share a piece of insight within my final blog. Upon receiving training and understanding that one’s evaluative thinking about adversity leads to dysfunctional emotional and behavioral consequences, it transformed my life. However, similar to what Ellis frequently explained, “Insight alone rarely enables people to undo their emotional disturbances.” I strongly agree with this statement, as I consider REBT to be a way of living.… Read more...

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Dealing with difficult people

by William Taboas, M.A. 

I live in New York City and I must confess, I have a hard time dealing with some of the people here in the city. Don’t get me wrong, there are difficult people everywhere in the world. But the variety of people NYC has to offer is limitless, making any sort of adaptation to the annoyances that come with the territory and its people an onerous task. So, when I came across Albert Ellis’ CD recording on “How to deal with Difficult People”, I made it my homework to listen, practice, and now, write about, what I learned so far.… Read more...

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Can we talk?

by Deniz Sidali, M.A.

At around 1 ½ years of age, we start to babble as infants. At around 2 years of age, we start to form basic words and learn how to say “No” to exert control over our surroundings. The beauty in the innocence of children lies in the fact that once they start to talk, very little is censored and their direct honesty is quite humorous as well as refreshing. I often feel that as adults we can learn a lot about how to communicate from children in terms of expressing curiosity, being honest, direct and genuine.… Read more...

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The Highly Productive Lazy Day

by Brooke Guttenberg, Psy.D. 

A few days ago I had my first real day off. For the first time in a long while I did not have any impending deadlines or outstanding items on my to-do list. Excited at the prospect of actually RELAXING I settled down to enjoy my day. A few hours later, I had cleaned out an entire closet, shredded old bills, created a new “to-do” list, and cleaned my room. I felt a strong sense of accomplishment. … Read more...

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Where Are You?

by Jennifer Shindman, Psy.D.

Yesterday night, I was excited to get home and watch a TV show that I recorded on my DVR. About thirty minutes in however, I realized that I was not at all paying attention to the show, and rather thinking about all of the things I had to do the next day and checking my emails. What is interesting is that I really do love this show, but I had difficulty being in the moment and watching it; I had to rewind and start from the beginning, which I guess was really no big deal.… Read more...

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