Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Important: Jury Summons Enclosed

by Amanda Rosinski, M.A.

I received this letter in the mail this week, summoning me for jury duty during the week of Christmas. I became very angry as soon as I saw those words in bold on the outside of the envelope. I only became angrier as I opened the letter and saw that the date to serve was during the week of Christmas. I wasn’t angry because of what just happened though, I was angry because of how I interpreted what just happened.… Read more...

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GivingTuesday

by Stephanie Schwartz, M.S.

GivingTuesday is a global day of giving fueled by the power of social media and collaboration. It is celebrated on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving and the widely recognized shopping events Black Friday and Cyber Monday. GivingTuesday kicks off the charitable season, when many focus on their holiday and end-of-year giving. I like to consider myself a compassionate and generous person, and as such would love to donate to organizations with missions that I care about.Read more...

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In Between Anger and Pushover

by Mark Schiffman, M.S.

A few weeks ago I wrote about how some of us struggle with being bobble-heads, namely, being incapable of saying no in response to another’s request.  There is another subgroup of us who struggle with an almost opposite problem, not with being bobble-heads, but with being hot-heads.  When someone asks us to do something we don’t automatically say yes, instead, we snap back “no – I can’t help you! Stop asking me already!” This approach can also be damaging as it could lead others to avoid being in our company, because let’s face it, very few people enjoy being around an angry grouch.… Read more...

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Thankfulness or Demandingness?

by Megan Sy, M.A., M.S. 

Thanksgiving weekend is often associated with two things: Black Friday deals and the beginning of holiday season. As we count down to the end of the year, we will increasingly be bombarded with expectations to shop, give gifts, eat and drink with abandon, attend parties, and spend time with family. In the hustle and bustle of the season, these expectations can develop into demands on ourselves and on others. I deserve to eat and drink everything I want.Read more...

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Be Mindful Be Thankful

by Carly Mayer, M.S. 

Each year, the calendar provides us with certain days to be thankful, Thanksgiving being the most obvious. On this day, many people try to pinpoint exactly what they are thankful for and be more aware of the positive aspects of their lives. Some families go around the dinner table and say what they are thankful for, but I would venture to say that most families do not ask each family member to be aware all of the different things they are thankful for in their lives.… Read more...

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Finances and Guilt

by Johna Hansen, L.C.S.W.

How often do you define your self-worth by the amount of money you possess?  Because that makes sense, right?  If I have at least 3 months pay saved, then people must see me as more important than others with only 0-2 months saved.  Or, maybe if you have a net worth of 1 million dollars then your self-worth is higher.  So, let’s just say 3 months saved makes us good people.  Just kidding. … Read more...

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Tis the Season (for differing opinions) 

by Raymond Moody, M.A. 

I love the holidays. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because there are few expectations. There are no presents to buy, no costumes to wear, and no guilt for not going to religious services. In my family, the expectations are show up, bring a dish if you can, express some gratitude and eat (sometimes there is a song that everyone must sing but that is a story for another day).

I love my family and I know my family loves me.… Read more...

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The 10 Minute Elevator Ride

by Amanda Rosinski, M.A.

My office at school is located on the 10th floor of the building, in a school serving at least 15,000 students. This doesn’t include faculty and staff. There are 8 elevators that students, faculty, and staff can take, but needless to say, it gets very backed up at times, especially during peak hours. Usually during those peak hours, I try to hide in my office and avoid leaving the 10th floor, because I have waited 10 minutes for an elevator before.… Read more...

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When “I Should” Really Means “It Would Be Good If…”

by Stephanie Schwartz, M.S. 

As a therapist who uses the REBT approach, I am sensitive to the word “should.” From the REBT perspective, demandingness is a core irrational belief that causes disturbance. This frequently includes beliefs that involve phrases such as, “I should,” “I must,” or “I have to.” However, these are also common phrases that we use all the time without feeling disturbed. So, it isn’t the words per se, but what the person actually means by them.… Read more...

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How to be a Good Therapist When You are Not Feeling Good

by Megan Sy, M.A., M.S.

As people, we cannot avoid bumps in the road, challenging setbacks, and distressing life experiences. While these are all unavoidable, it is important for us as clinicians to be aware of how our personal difficulties can affect our professional competence. In the same way that illness might prevent us from doing our jobs well, unhealthy negative emotions can also interfere with our work. Intrusive thoughts or physiological arousal during our therapy sessions may leave us distracted, inattentive, or indifferent.… Read more...

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