Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

How rude!

by Deniz Sidali, M.A. 

Practically every time I step outside my door, I encounter rude behavior in New York City – people texting while walking into me on the street, commuters with bad body odor on the subway coughing in my face without thinking to cover their mouths, patrons walking through doors that I hold open without a simple “thank you”, people in my neighborhood cutting me on the line at the bank – and the list goes on and on!  … Read more...

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Awfulizing time

by Kristen Tobias, M.A. 

I would like to discuss the premise that some events are reasonably characterized as “awful” and propose one strategy for dealing with this reality.  Those who practice REBT in its unadulterated form will not agree with this blog.  In an attempt to help individuals to cope, Dr. Ellis would anti-awfulize all events.  If you were talking or thinking about an event, it could be worse, and this reality nullified its awfulness.  The rationale is that awfulizing, or thinking about an event as horrific and terrible engenders unhealthy negative emotions like anger, anxiety, and depression, which impede coping abilities. … Read more...

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Lessons learned

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A. 

I have learned an abundant amount of knowledge during my time at the Albert Ellis Institute and would like to share a piece of insight within my final blog. Upon receiving training and understanding that one’s evaluative thinking about adversity leads to dysfunctional emotional and behavioral consequences, it transformed my life. However, similar to what Ellis frequently explained, “Insight alone rarely enables people to undo their emotional disturbances.” I strongly agree with this statement, as I consider REBT to be a way of living.… Read more...

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Dealing with difficult people

by William Taboas, M.A. 

I live in New York City and I must confess, I have a hard time dealing with some of the people here in the city. Don’t get me wrong, there are difficult people everywhere in the world. But the variety of people NYC has to offer is limitless, making any sort of adaptation to the annoyances that come with the territory and its people an onerous task. So, when I came across Albert Ellis’ CD recording on “How to deal with Difficult People”, I made it my homework to listen, practice, and now, write about, what I learned so far.… Read more...

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Can we talk?

by Deniz Sidali, M.A.

At around 1 ½ years of age, we start to babble as infants. At around 2 years of age, we start to form basic words and learn how to say “No” to exert control over our surroundings. The beauty in the innocence of children lies in the fact that once they start to talk, very little is censored and their direct honesty is quite humorous as well as refreshing. I often feel that as adults we can learn a lot about how to communicate from children in terms of expressing curiosity, being honest, direct and genuine.… Read more...

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The Highly Productive Lazy Day

by Brooke Guttenberg, Psy.D. 

A few days ago I had my first real day off. For the first time in a long while I did not have any impending deadlines or outstanding items on my to-do list. Excited at the prospect of actually RELAXING I settled down to enjoy my day. A few hours later, I had cleaned out an entire closet, shredded old bills, created a new “to-do” list, and cleaned my room. I felt a strong sense of accomplishment. … Read more...

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Where Are You?

by Jennifer Shindman, Psy.D.

Yesterday night, I was excited to get home and watch a TV show that I recorded on my DVR. About thirty minutes in however, I realized that I was not at all paying attention to the show, and rather thinking about all of the things I had to do the next day and checking my emails. What is interesting is that I really do love this show, but I had difficulty being in the moment and watching it; I had to rewind and start from the beginning, which I guess was really no big deal.… Read more...

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How to Never Be a Failure

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

Our culture thrives on pigeonholing individuals as successes or failures, and it can be easy to get caught up in this illogical, irrational reasoning.  The success/failure dichotomy ignores the complexity of being human and presumes some objective standard of success or failure that is true for everyone in all cases.  High school yearbooks often identify someone as “Most Likely to Succeed.”  What does this title even mean?   If we agree that this accolade refers to one’s professional life, the meaning still remains unclear. … Read more...

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The Past is a Place of Reference, Not Residence

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A.

“I should have done _____.”

“Why didn’t I say _____?”

“I didn’t have to act _____.”

The above statements display a collection of potential thoughts that can run through individuals’ minds when they ruminate about regretful past events. Many of us find ourselves living in the past as we become tormented about events that occurred days, weeks, months, or even years prior. Unfortunately, when we reflect on the past, we not only think about how the event could have been different, but also generate self-downing, other-downing, or world-downing remarks regarding how the moments unfolded.… Read more...

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All or Nothing Thinking

by Jennifer Shindman, Psy.D.

How often have you said, or have heard someone say something like, if this goes wrong, my life is over, or something like, if I do not get a job after college, then I wasted the past four years. More specifically, have you ever generalized a specific event to your overall global experience? Have you ever said something like, my entire diet is ruined because I just ate that cookie, or I did a bad job at this presentation, thus, I am a terrible presenter?Read more...

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