Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

REBT with Parents

by Rosina Pzena, M.S. 

I have been working with some parents recently, and so I have been spending some time thinking about how REBT might be able to help parents. From my experience, it seems that many parents have strong shoulds, or what we call irrational shoulds (demands), about how they should parent, and how their children should act. For example, many parents have difficulty with the idea of positive reinforcement, because they think their child absolutely should already know how to behave appropriately without gaining rewards for doing so.… Read more...

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The Gym and The Oreo

by Raymond Moody, M.A.

I don’t have a trainer at my gym. I probably should because there are times when I just lack the motivation to work out. My gym does offer me a complimentary fitness evaluation and training session each year. It conveniently falls in February as soon as all the holidays are over and my body has changed in shape and size from my holiday eating habits. I am not one of those people who do New Year’s Resolutions but each year the trainer asks me what my fitness goals are and what are the barriers that get in my way.… Read more...

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Why Am I Feeling Stuck?

by Amanda Rosinski, M.A.

I have been working on a specific research paper for quite some time now, but I recently found myself avoiding the paper and feeling angry whenever I thought about working on the paper. Not only had I been avoiding the paper itself, but I was also avoiding the critical thoughts about why I was feeling and behaving this way. So this week, when I began thinking about how much I really need to get back to working on this paper, I realized that I had been thinking irrationally about the paper.… Read more...

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Receiving Feedback

by Johna Hansen, L.C.S.W.

Supervisors, friends, colleagues, and family provide us with feedback often.  According to Stone & Heen (2014), feedback falls into three categories: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation.  It seems like coaching and evaluation are the two categories where receivers of the feedback can become the most disturbed.  Stone & Heen (2014) present a good outline for the practical and behavioral steps of receiving feedback.  The authors argue that there is also a cognitive component to receiving and responding well to feedback.  … Read more...

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The Waiting Game

by Stephanie Schwartz, M.S. 

Daily life involves a lot of waiting. Waiting for the subway, a package to arrive, a response to an email, a paycheck, seamless delivery, a movie that’s coming out soon, etc. Considering the significant amount of time we spend waiting for things we want to happen, it’s interesting to think about the common phrase, “I can’t wait.” While sometimes the phrase is harmless and even may reflect excitement about something to come, it also can lead to dysfunctional feelings.… Read more...

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by Mark Schiffman, M.S. 

One of the first, and perhaps the most fundamental ingredients to successfully changing our behaviors and emotions is the belief that we can actually change our behaviors and emotions.  REBT will not be effective until someone believes that they are an agent who has the free will to make significant shifts in thoughts, emotions and behaviors. While there are obviously some limits to the concept of free will and we cannot literality will ourselves to be whatever we want, the concept that there is room to change and improve is elementary to the system.… Read more...

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Acceptance on Valentine’s and/or Singles Awareness Day

by Megan Sy, M.S. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve written about unconditional self-acceptance (USA) and unconditional life acceptance (ULA). With Valentine’s Day approaching, I felt it was appropriate to round out this discussion with unconditional other acceptance (UOA).

UOA involves acknowledging a person’s characteristics, traits, and behaviors without judgment or global ratings of worth. One can acknowledge that their partner may be terribly unromantic without viewing the partner as a terrible person. Further, one can choose to think rationally and not demand that their partner must change (e.g., “It would be nice if my partner was romantic, but there is no reason why they must be.”).

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What’s the Worst Thing That Could Happen?

by Rosina Pzena, M.S.

After a job or internship interview, the most stressful part of applying for a position is over. I made it through without making a complete fool of myself, maybe even managed to express what makes me a good fit for the job. Why, then, do I feel even more stressed and anxious now than I did before? There is nothing more I can physically do to help myself get this internship; it is simply a waiting game.… Read more...

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To Keep Your Emotions in Check, Press 9

by Carly Mayer, M.S.

I hate calling large companies. I hate their long lists of options, the annoying recordings, and when you eventually get to a person, the seemingly endless scripts they are required to read before (hopefully) helping you. I find that certain companies are worse than others and when I come across a company that is quick and helpful, I am eternally grateful, no matter the size of the request. However, when I run into a roadblock with a company, I have a tendency to make myself extremely angry, which comes out in cutting words and eventually, tears.… Read more...

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Removing the Weight of Guilt

by Johna Hansen, LCSW

After a long morning of driving to Maryland, then taking the metro to Washington D.C., and then standing with three children and a pregnant friend for most of the day, we were all getting hungry and tired. As we stood in a line to get into the metro that took us about an hour to get to the entrance, a few people cut in front of me in line. I was annoyed, so I assertively explained my frustration to the people who cut in front of me, pointed to the back of the line, and suggested they go there.… Read more...

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