by Raymond Moody, M.A.

As I write this blog post, I am sitting in front of a great tree in Seville, Spain. The tree reminds me of a meditation I learned that focuses on imagining a giant redwood tree in the forests of California. Bringing the redwood to mind, one can visualize the strength and stability of the tree. The massive redwood, with its roots stretching deep underground, is able to stand still and tall through changing seasons and harsh weather. Looking at a giant redwood, it appears that the tree goes unaffected by the challenges it has faced. This tree in front of me in Spain does not share this characteristic. It appears to have faced numerous storms and other challenges. Some of its roots are exposed, dragging across the surface, clinging to the ground. It is covered in knots. Its branches twist around one another, including a few broken branches that hang in the air along with streamers of moss that have decided to make this tree its home. At the top, the tree splits in two directions as if it has had trouble deciding whether it wanted to grow toward the morning or afternoon sun.

At times I have found great value in visualizing the unscarred redwood tree in my meditation. Bringing the redwood to mind and focusing on its strength and stability has been helpful in reducing my anxiety in stressful situations. Most of the time, however, I do not see myself as the redwood. I have faced my share of challenges that have shaped how I view myself as a person. I carry with me my own self-evaluations (my own knots and twisted branches) as well as evaluations others have made about me (like clinging moss).

In REBT, one of the unhelpful ways of thinking that often leads to experiencing unhealthy negative emotions involves making global self-evaluations based on some experience. For example, one time I was so nervous to introduce myself to a person I wanted to meet at a networking event and I felt really depressed afterward.  One of the global evaluations I was making was that I was a weak person and stupid for not finding the courage to introduce myself. In the case of this tree in Spain, one could make a global evaluation that because of its broken branches the tree itself is broken. With this global evaluation, they would be missing the good qualities of the tree, including the fact that each day this tree attracts hundreds of visitors to sit and rest in its ample shade and find delight in the observation of the interesting twists and turns of its features.

In the moment, our mistakes can feel so important to our identity that we think these events define us. It is important for us to remember that not one single event or feature defines who we are. Our job is to identify this global self-evaluative thinking and recognize this way of thinking as unhelpful. We all will encounter challenges and we all will make mistakes.  Instead of thinking we are totally flawed because of this, we can recognize that we are fallible.  I may be disappointed sometimes in my performance and I can handle disappointment. I also have times when I do good and can enjoy feeling the happiness that comes from that.

Ray Moody