by Stephanie Schwartz, M.S.
We are just about a month away from our next presidential election. While issues surrounding politics are often publicized, they are highlighted during election years. Aside from what is displayed in the media, talk about politics likely also comes up more in conversations around this time. Another piece in recent years is social media, as many people take to this forum to express their political views. I’ve noticed a lot of disagreement and hostility in both my “in-person” and “online” lives about politics. While it’s normal and OK for people to have different views, some people make themselves angry about it. If you find yourself feeling angry or behaving in a dysfunctional way (e.g., yelling at friends/family/colleagues, posting hostile messages on social media) ask yourself:
- Am I demanding that this person view this issue a certain way?
- Am I condemning this person (i.e, thinking of them as a bad/worthless person) because of their viewpoint?
If you answered yes to either of these questions, it is likely these thoughts are contributing to your anger and/or dysfunctional behavior. While you may strongly prefer that someone share your viewpoint, there unfortunately is no reason why they must do so. If you continue to tell yourself that someone should share the same viewpoint as you, you will continue to make yourself feel angry. Additionally, condemning this person as completely bad or worthless is inaccurate; as humans we all have equal worth and are too complex to be defined as simply all good or all bad. We all have aspects of ourselves that are positive and negative and we may behave in ways that are good or bad. To give ourselves one overall evaluation does not reflect this fact that we have both strengths and flaws. If you continue to tell yourself that someone is completely bad or a total idiot will continue to make you feel angry. Rather, you could tell yourself: “While I strongly disagree with my colleague’s viewpoint, there is no reason that she must think the way I do. I think it is bad that she believes ____, but it does not make her a complete idiot.” Changing your belief will likely lead you to feel annoyed or disappointed rather than unhealthily angry.
