by Megan Sy, M.A., M.S.
Endings are tough for many people. It usually doesn’t matter what kind of ending it is – all endings big and small often have that sense of “bittersweetness” to them.
I recently left a part-time position at my university. On my last day there, I found myself thinking, “I can’t believe it’s ending!” and getting quite sad and anxious. It struck me soon after how silly of a thought that was. The thought, “I can’t believe it” implies that there was a surprise, even though I had known since I started the position that it was time-limited and that I would be leaving in May 2016. So actually, I could believe it – in fact, I knew it was going to happen.
This is a fairly simple example of how our thoughts can deceive us and can make us a lot more upset. For me, a mixture of uncertainty and low tolerance for change (“I can’t stand endings – I can’t stand not knowing what happens next!”) was also contributing to my distress. It helped to put into perspective how frequently endings actually occur and how often I don’t know what will happen next. These things happen every day! Every night, the day ends and I never 100% know what will happen next, but I don’t disturb myself over this and I have always survived. So in reality, I can stand not knowing what happens next.
Lesson learned: Endings may not be pleasant, but they are certainly tolerable. And they might not be so bad after all.
