Kristen Tobias, M.A.
This blog is one of four that will expound on the types of frustration intolerance (FI) discussed in my last entry, Not All Frustrations are Created Equal.
Entitlitis is a word that has insidiously slipped into American vernacular. It refers to a condition afflicting a cohort that, in HIPPA fashion, will remain unidentified (although to be fair, entitlitis is sure to be found across all cohorts). This condition consists of a life philosophy whereby individuals believe that the world and others owe them something, as well as the idea that life should be fair. Respect is a mandate and not earned. REBT is uniquely placed to deal with this epidemic.
It has been suggested that Dr. Ellis will be most remembered for naming and developing the construct of FI (or low frustration intolerance [LFT]). This construct has been developed to include entitlement intolerance (EI). I’m going to go out on a limb to say that those with entitlitis, as referenced in popular culture, have high entitlement intolerance, as characterized and measured in REBT theory.
Individuals with EI think that others are responsible for complying with their desires. This person might endorse the belief “I must not be kept waiting” because “I can’t stand waiting.” They exhibit intolerance for not being appreciated and cannot stand criticism. There is often a focus on immediate gratification, and long-term consequences can fall by the wayside.
Anger is the primary emotion associated with EI, but the manifestation of EI may result in different types of behavioral problems. For example, research supports a unique relationship between EI and overspending. Thoughts related to overspending might include, “I want what I want and I want it now. I deserve this. I must have this. If others have this, I should have this too. I couldn’t stand otherwise.”
Treatment will consist of disputation of EI beliefs. One’s ability to stand EI will be emphasized, as will the short-term and long-term consequences of cultivating this tolerance. For example, all individuals have likely withstood criticism in the past, even though they may present in therapy stating that they cannot stand criticism from their boss. Although being criticized is an unpleasant experience for most people, it is inconsistent with reality to say that you cannot stand it. The consequences of holding this belief could then be examined. Does it help people to think that they cannot stand criticism from their boss? What do they feel when they have this thought? Will this belief and the associated emotion get them closer to the next promotion? Is functioning helped or hindered by holding this belief?
A behavioral exercise for promoting tolerance of criticism will likely be helpful once the individual has developed rational coping statements. Individuals could be instructed to actively seek feedback from their supervisors to expose them to criticism. This will provide evidence that they can stand criticism and help to make rational coping statements more automatic. Monitoring of progress can be aided with use of the Frustration-Discomfort Scale.
Next up: Emotional Intolerance.