by Amanda Rosinski, M.A. 

As I planned my return trip from vacation this week, the dreaded thought of potential traffic delays was at the forefront of my mind. Sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic has historically challenged my patience. And New York City is very well-known for its frequent traffic delays, making the thought of experiencing traffic delays seem inevitable for me. What if what is supposed to be a four hour drive turns into a six hour drive? I can’t stand the thought of that! I shouldn’t have to give up those two extra hours!

Using my knowledge of REBT, I now know that those demanding beliefs and frustration intolerance for potential traffic delays are exactly what cause my feelings of anger. So as I planned my return trip from vacation this time, I challenged my irrational beliefs and practiced my rational beliefs to turn my feelings of anger into annoyance. Instead of, “I can’t stand the thought of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic,” I practiced “I don’t like sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but I can stand it.” Instead of, “I shouldn’t have to give up two extra hours to be stuck in traffic,” I practiced, “I don’t want to be stuck in traffic for two extra hours, but I don’t have to make it home in exactly four hours.” I found these beliefs to be much more helpful in reducing my anger while sitting in traffic! Instead of feeling so angry, I felt annoyed, but the feelings of annoyance didn’t consume me. I recognized my original beliefs as both unhelpful and causing my feelings of anger, and then replacing those with more helpful beliefs. This allowed me to experience a healthier emotional reaction (frustration) while sitting in the annoying traffic.

Amanda Rosinski