Kristen Tobias, M.A.
Historical Background
Albert Ellis was a huge proponent of the use of multimodal techniques to overcome emotional disturbance. As such, he was a prolific creator of bibliotherapy, audiotherapy, and other self-help material, in addition to providing countless hours of rational-emotive behavior therapy (REBT) at his non-profit institute. Ellis also started conducting Friday Night workshops in the 1960s, a platform for public demonstration of the theory and practice of REBT. Individuals from all walks of life would come to the institute to observe and/or present a problem to the venerable Ellis. Some people came once and others many times. His mission of outreach and the use of diverse techniques to promote mental health continues on today.
Live from New York, it’s FNL!
This event is offered twice monthly (dates: https://albertellis.org/friday-night-live/) and runs from 7:00PM to 8:30PM. An REBT specialist leads the event and asks the audience for two volunteers who are willing to present a problem. Problems can run the gamut from anger, anxiety, depression, to jealousy, shame, etc. Attendees that do not present a problem have time to ask questions about the demonstration.
In case you missed it, here’s a synopsis from last Friday’s exciting FNL with the Director of the Albert Ellis Institute, Dr. Kristene Doyle. After the first audience member volunteered, the evening started out with a question from Dr. Doyle, “What problem do you want to work on tonight?” The first volunteer was an entrepreneur who reported feeling work-related anxiety for about the last six months.
In order to peel away the layers, Dr. Doyle asked the volunteer (we’ll call her Marisa) to describe the last time she was feeling anxious. Marisa reported thinking that her business must continue to succeed and that if it doesn’t, it would be awful and that she would be a failure. Dr. Doyle asked her what emotion she would like to feel in place of anxiety. The volunteer’s reply was very typical…she expressed a desire to feel “zen” instead of anxiety. This response led to psychoeducation about the difference between healthy negative emotions and unhealthy negative emotions. While anxiety was adversely impacting Marisa’s life, a feeling of zen would likely not engender the thinking and behavior that is necessary to successfully maintain a business. The new agreed upon emotion was concern, an emotion that is qualitatively different from anxiety.
Dr. Doyle asked the busy entrepreneur to assume the worst…“Let’s assume you’re not able to keep the business running. If your organization failed, what would that mean for you?” The crowd laughed when Dr. Doyle joked, “Aren’t you glad that you came up here? We’re going to make you worse before you feel better.” Marisa reported that she would believe that she was a failure and inadequate as a person. This type of thinking is quite common. People entangle failing at one thing with being a failure. Dr. Doyle explained that this type of thinking (i.e., business failing = person as failure) was an overvaluation of Marisa’s failed endeavor. How could Marisa be a total failure, if she failed at this particular part of her life? Importantly, it was apparent that her current way of thinking was working against her and causing her anxiety. Dr. Doyle explained that failing at something doesn’t make Marisa a failure–it makes her human. If someone was truly a failure it would have to mean that they failed 100% of the time…past, present, and future. Failing at something means we are fallible, an intrinsic component of being human.
If Marisa’s business fails, it may very well indicate that refinement of some type of skill is in order, but Marisa is too complex a person to be defined by one event (in other words, a global rating). Dr. Doyle also emphasized that we want to recognize the significance of a failed enterprise. A failed business would be bad, but it certainly could be worse. An important distinction was that of knowing versus believing. Dr. Doyle clarified that Marisa has been thinking a specific way for some time, and that she would need to rehearse new, rational beliefs in order to truly change her feelings of anxiety to concern.
The second volunteer reported feeling angry related to a recent divorce. Do you experience feelings of anxiety or anger? Or, are you experiencing another distressing emotion? Come to our next FNL to express your problem or learn about REBT solutions to other people’s problems!
Hope to see you at the next FNL!
