by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.
The year 2015 is less than a month away and what better time than now to begin evaluating our 2014 New Year’s resolutions. Approximately one year ago I wrote a blog exploring how to change the way that we think about last year’s resolutions that we did not accomplish. Engaging in my own self- reflection, I recognize that I may not have accomplished every goal that I set out to conquer over the past year; however, since I am human like everyone else, it is inevitable to have both failures and successes. While discussing this issue with friends and family, and also thinking about my resolution shortcomings, there are a few common themes that I recognized:
1. Goal Setting: To help make goals more achievable there are a few important aspects to consider. Defining a broad goal is a great first step, however, this leaves a lot open to interpretation and does not help to define exactly what needs to be done to accomplish the goal. For instance, saying I want to lose weight or I want to eat healthy are great goals, but how will we go about accomplishing this? It is important to define measurable goals so we know where to begin and determine whether or not we achieved them. Additionally, larger goals can be broken down into smaller more achievable steps. Going back to the goals mentioned earlier we could say I want to lose five pounds by the New Year. Next, you can determine the ways in which we can go about losing weight, which may include increasing exercise or cutting out certain foods. In regards to the resolution of eating healthier, we can better define this goal as I want to increase my vegetable intake to help myself eat healthier meals. The next step would be to determine what vegetables you can add to your diet and practical ways to do so.
2. Increasing Motivation: If we do not understand why we are doing something or why it is helpful to make such changes, it will be harder to stay committed in the long-term. Before tackling a large endeavor it is important to help increase one’s motivation. Some helpful questions you can ask yourself are: How is my current behavior helping me? How is it hurting me? What do I want to do about it? Completing a cost-benefit analysis is a great way to recognize the changes we want to make and the consequences and benefits of our current behaviors. You can consider the costs and benefits of maintaining your current behavior. Then you can do the same for implementing new behaviors.
2. Challenging Rigid Ways of Thinking: Patterns of thinking such as I cannot do this, It is too difficult, or It shouldn’t be so difficult to achieve this goal will only impede motivation. Recognizing when we are demanding something that is not realistic, something that is illogical, or something that is not helpful is the first step in changing our thinking. While in the moment our goals may seem too difficult to achieve, telling ourselves this will only make it more difficult to persevere. If we are running into this roadblock, the first step is to increase our frustration tolerance and then perhaps move back to step number one and better define the goal. As much as I would prefer exercise to be as enjoyable as sitting on my couch, there is no law that states achieving goals must be easy and the more I demand something exist that is illogical, the more disturbed I will become. Yes, it may be difficult to achieve a goal and I may experience setbacks, but this does not mean I cannot tolerate hard work and refocus my efforts.
3. Failing To Achieve A Resolution Does Not Mean We Are a Failure: Lastly, as I stated earlier, we will have failures and successes throughout the year. Just because we did not meet our goal of losing weight or increasing our vegetable intake does not mean we are a complete and utter failure. We are just people that did not meet our New Year’s resolution, and this does not mean we are a failure in all areas of our life.
Whether or not you decide to pursue a New Year’s resolution for 2015, I would like to leave you with one last thought from Dr. Albert Ellis: Not achieving your resolution is a hassle not a horror! Okay, well maybe these were not his exact words, but you get my drift.
