by Deniz Sidali, M.A.
Singer Diana Ross croons, “I’m coming out. I want the world to know. Got to let it show.” The other night on American television, over seventeen million people viewed the highly anticipated Diane Sawyer interview with Olympian Bruce Jenner where he discussed his painful struggle with gender identity. While I may not understand everything there is to know about this topic or know him personally, my heart hurt for him. My initial reaction was that I wish I could give him a hug and personally thank him for attempting to help de-stigmatize what it means to be transgender. I felt incredible empathy, support, and sadness for him. I was truly in awe of his bravery for coming out with this secret at age 65 and telling viewers, “I am a woman”. I knew that others wouldn’t be so kind and sympathetic. Mainly because as human beings we tend to judge, dismiss, and vilify what we don’t understand or what seems to invalidate our strongly held beliefs and values. But we can instead practice unconditional other and life acceptance in that we don’t necessarily have to make sense of other people’s decisions or place a value judgment on it. We can accept others’ choices without liking it.
What I typically ask people who do have animosity towards the LGBT community is, “What if that were your son or daughter, father or mother, brother or sister? How would you feel about the person then? Would you still hate them?” These questions serve (hopefully) as a means of garnering empathy for those struggling with their sexuality and gender identity. What if there are a multitude of realities that exist in the world that can broaden our knowledge of the world, life and others without it necessarily compromising our beliefs or values? Depending on our circumstances, our value system may change. For instance in ancient Greece and Rome, it was fairly common practice for men to have sex with other men. And this practice wasn’t referred to as homosexuality. Instead it was viewed as “normal”. Sometimes I wonder if the term “normal” would be appropriate in any context or whether it can be operationally defined.
Jenner and an expert clarified that “gender identity is who you go to sleep as; while sexual orientation is who you go to sleep with.” While extremely cathartic for Jenner to finally share his story and hopes of gender reassignment, it will hopefully help millions around the world in the transgender community deal with their struggles as well. So before jumping to negative or discriminatory conclusions about Jenner’s revelation, ask yourself this, “What purpose does it serve me or society to judge Jenner harshly? By judging him or hating him, am I going to feel better or worse about myself or will it change the situation?” The paparazzi relentlessly pursued and taunted Jenner so we could have photos of his transformation and stories in gossip magazines, to the point where he seriously contemplated taking his own life. You could ask yourself, “Is it worth this man taking his own life for us to discriminate, or taunt him?” I hope the answers to these questions would be “no”.
