by Megan Sy, M.A., M.S. 

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, the number of cut-out hearts and chocolate sales is on the rise. While there are many people out there who blissfully celebrate Valentine’s Day, there are also many who turn into the Grinch at the first sight of a red rose. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day also tends to be associated with feelings of depression and loneliness. So I decided to conduct a Valentine’s Day survey (translation: I asked three friends what their most irrational Valentine’s thought was) to find out what sorts of irrational beliefs might be lurking. Here’s what came up:

My boyfriend must give me flowers and take me on a nice dinner date.

It would be pathetic and horrible if I am single on Valentine’s Day.

can’t stand all the hearts, flowers, and other reminders of Valentine’s.

Certainly, rigid and irrational thinking can lead to intense negative emotions, like depression or anger. From an REBT perspective, the remedy would be to develop some rational alternatives. For instance, one can think: I would prefer that my boyfriend give me flowers and take me on a date, but it doesn’t mean that he must… and it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t. Let’s face it – Valentine’s Day is here to stay; we might as well think rationally about it. Enjoy – or at least don’t make yourself miserable!

Megan Sy