Shannon O’Neill, M.A.
Many clients seek therapy because their behaviors are creating trouble within their lives. Whether it is an argument that transforms into a shouting match, a few potato chips that progress to a whole bag, or one drink that leads to eight more, these impulsive behaviors are often the product of irrational beliefs. Commonly associated with these dysfunctional behaviors are thoughts specific to dogmatic demands and/or frustration intolerance.
Imagine an individual who is attempting to quit smoking. Upon experiencing nicotine cravings, they may have a thought such as, “I can’t stand these cravings, I must have a cigarette!” Often times, the short-term behavioral satisfaction (e.g., smoking a cigarette) does not equate to long-term contentment (e.g., strong desire to quit smoking entirely). More specifically, once the immediate gratification subsides, additional unproductive beliefs are formulated and are typically redirected towards oneself. As you can see, this process naturally generates a cyclical pattern of unproductive thoughts and behaviors.
Therefore, when an individual has the desire to stop engaging in an impulsive behavior, a useful technique is to have them “play the whole tape.” Similar to a tool used in Alcoholics Anonymous, the therapist can ask the client to describe the last time they negatively acted on irrational thoughts. In the moment of temptation, individuals tend to focus on the gratifying behavior that is within reach. However, what happens next? The key is to not only describe the instantaneous results, but also identify the lasting consequences.
In conclusion, the next time you would like to prevent yourself from engaging in an impulsive behavior, try not to dodge the discomfort. Sit with it, attempt to tolerate it, and play the whole tape.
