by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.
I want you to take a minute and close your eyes. Think about the last time you felt angry, guilty, anxious, or depressed. Now I want you to walk your self through the situation. Think about each detail until you feel the emotional response. When you feel that emotion, pause, and ask yourself the question, how did I get myself to feel this emotion? Now I want you to change the emotion you are feeling. For instance, make yourself feel annoyed, sad, remorseful, or concerned. When you recognize this change, ask yourself, how did I change my emotion?
How did you change your emotion? Was it: I told myself…, I thought to myself…, or I changed the way I was thinking about the situation? This exercise demonstrates what we call in REBT the “B-C” connection, which is the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. More simply stated, we feel how to think.
The exercise stated above is an example of Rational Emotive Imagery (REI), a technique devised by Dr. Albert Ellis. This technique is used to better understand how we were thinking, feeling, and behaving in a situation, as well as to practice how we would rather think, feel, and behave. Imagery not only allows us to practice utilizing new skills before putting ourselves into situations, but also helps us to practice new emotional and behavioral reactions when we do not have access to certain situations. Thus, imagery provides a context for practicing behavioral and cognitive techniques when in vivo options are not available. Cognitive, behavioral, and emotional changes may not happen in a day but the more time we spend identifying and disputing our irrational beliefs, as well as practice our new rational alternatives, the more natural it will feel.
Think back to a time you learned something new that required a lot of practice – for instance – riding a bike. The first few times on the bike we may have been clumsy, had difficulty coordinating our movements, and spent a lot of energy trying to get the bike to move. After some time and practice, we were better able to hop on the bike and go for a spin without having to exert ourselves as much. Changing emotions and behaviors requires the same process, especially when considering how long we have spent practicing our irrational ways of thinking!
If you find yourself slipping into old patterns of responding, try to remember – just as with riding a bike, some roads may be bumpier than others. Try to think back on the different skills you have learned to pad the way. Practice makes (almost) perfect!
