Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.
At one time or another we have all tried to predict the future. We may picture ourselves five years down the road and wonder where we will end up. Usually, the most interesting part of that game is when those five years is up and we look back and wonder how we ended up where we are now. As many of us have experienced, life is never a straight path and whether or not we end up where we predicted, the path to getting there is almost always unpredictable. What happens when our interest in the future becomes more than curiosity and transforms into a need? If we begin to hold strong to the idea that we must know what to expect going forward, and there must be certainty about how situations will resolve, we may not prepare ourselves for what may come.
Fortune telling may disguise itself as a way to gain control. We may support superstitious behaviors as an attempt to bolster our best efforts; however, what are we left with if we find ourselves head to head with the situation we were striving to defend against? If we continue to tell ourselves that we must have a guarantee, then that is exactly what we may try to find. Even if one does believe they have found the path to certainty, how can one be so certain?
Holding onto such rigid beliefs may leave us open to feelings of anxiety, depression, and anger, especially when these thoughts are challenged. Any attempts to dodge the discomfort of being uncertain are immediately thwarted when faced with an unclear situation. As much as one may wish to find certainty, there is no guarantee that this answer can be found. Rather than collect evidence for or against, why not try asking oneself, “what am I most anxious about if I cannot be certain in this situation?” Facing the discomfort head-on is never an easy task, but it often is the first step in the coping process. If one is able to give-up the need for certainty, they are better able to accept that as much they want it, they may not get it. Accepting the flexible preference gives ways to more adaptive feelings such as frustration and supports action instead of avoidance.
Think of all of the time spent looking for answers, and instead apply that time to enjoying the present. All of the energy used toward controlling the situation can be used to tackle what is in front of us. Yes, there may be trials and tribulations, but demandingness does little to guard us from challenges we may experience. I personally think that it is time we try to give up our crystal balls and give in to the journey.