Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Throwing Out The Baby With The Bath Water

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

This past Monday I made a pretty big mistake at work. As my supervisor would still be away when we got back from winter break, he asked me to do something for him for an upcoming meeting. Because I forgot to write it down in my planner before we had a week off, I totally forgot to do it. When he followed up with me that night to see how it went, I totally lost it.… Read more...

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Moving from Victim to Survivor

by Deniz Sidali, M.A. 

Many of us at one time or another may have experience some sort of victimization, whether it be abuse, rape, discrimination, bullying or any other trauma- inducing event. The impact of victimization is not always evident immediately following the traumatic event. In fact, it may take years before one actually experiences the effects of trauma. We may start to have nightmares or flashbacks. Current events or situations may trigger traumatic memories, and could affect our level of trust and intimacy with others.… Read more...

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A Bronx Tale

I’d like to re-tell a biographical story about Dr. Ellis.  It starts in the Bronx Botanical Gardens…

During his early adolescence, Dr. Ellis spent much time reading books in this beautiful outdoor space. Sitting alone on park benches, he would notice females from afar and agonize about approaching them.  To his great dismay, he never approached any of them!  Turns out, Dr. Ellis experienced crippling social anxiety in the romantic realm.  He feared rejection by females that he was interested in pursuing and had insight into the limitations this fear imposed on him. … Read more...

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Belong to Where You Are

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A.

In today’s world, people are often unsatisfied with their present circumstances. We frequently wish we were somewhere else doing something different. No matter the domain, I personally find that I desire more than what I have. I cannot recall the number of times I have said, “Once I have X, then I’ll be satisfied.” But yet, once I actually do have X, then what? Am I finally happy? Most of the time, no.… Read more...

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Let it Snow

by William Taboas, MA

Here in New York, the weather has been unpredictable. Yes, winters are cold, but the unpredictability of recurrent impending snow storms has thrown the city into a loop at every occasion. City dwellers, like me, are not happy with the weather, since we walk or take public transportation to most places. At the announcement of blizzards or heavy storms, roads get closed off, buses and subway service stop running, and commuter trains get delayed.… Read more...

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Mind Reading

Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

I never realized how many psychics and mind readers there are in New York City. I’m not talking about the advertisements you see while walking down the street for palm readings, but I’m referring to the people you interact with day-to-day who claim they have this special trait.  I’m guilty of claiming to possess this talent too and trust me, with my current track record, I should not be adding mind reading to my resume any time soon.… Read more...

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You are the Superman of your Thoughts!

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

All of the water in the world cannot sink a ship, unless it gets inside. In other words, people around us behave in all sorts of ways and may even treat us poorly, but we are the deciders of how it affects us. If your “frenemy,” or your mother-in-law, or your boss makes that backhanded comment, you do not have to upset yourself about it.  You are the superman of your thoughts, and it is up to you to prevent the water from getting inside.… Read more...

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REBT Reflections on Why Time Heals Wounds

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

The adage “Time Heals all Wounds” is commonly cited.  Does time actually heal all wounds?  Probably not, some wounds are so profound that they will be felt for a lifetime.  But there does seem to be some truth to this enduring expression.  Time is a noun that is used to denote a circumscribed period.  How does a thing, a stretch of days, weeks, months, or years restore well-being?  Time, it seems, represents the ultimate exposure and the extent to which time heals, is likely related to some core components of REBT.… Read more...

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Allow Yourself to Feel

By Shannon O’Neill, M.A.

Emotions can be uncomfortable, so much to the point of avoidance. Some may choose to suppress feelings and/or avoid situations, believing the emotion is inevitably linked to an unpleasant past event. As an individual begins to experience the emotion they do not wish to feel, meta-emotions, such as anxiety, can also be produced. So as you can see, cognitive and behavioral avoidance may offer temporary relief, but will not aid in long-term recovery.… Read more...

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Addressing Embarrassment

by William Taboas, M.A. 

One of the aspects of Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) that got me hooked was the emphasis on clinically addressing complex negative emotions (e.g., embarrassment, jealousy, envy, shame, contempt) beyond the typical basic negative emotions (i.e., sadness, disgust, anger, and fear). In contemporary empirically-based interventions, complex emotions are rarely discussed, and in some cases, even deemphasized in the context of treatment delivery. While traditional forms of psychotherapy, literature, and theory have hinted about how complex emotional states contribute or maintain psychopathology, REBT is among the few empirically-based treatments that systematically addresses all unhealthy negative emotions in a clinical fashion.… Read more...

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