Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Rational versus Irrational Anger – Part 1: Irrational Anger

William R. Taboas, M.A.

This blog entry is part one of a two part series discussing the nature of irrational anger and its beliefs, and how irrational anger contrasts to the rational use of anger as an emotion.

Anger is a powerful emotion. Most of us are familiar with the costs of anger: aggressive behavior inevitably will have a toll on our relationships with friends, significant others, family, and coworkers. But anger also gets a bad rap; with optimal levels and the rational use of anger, we can defeat our adversities, move mountains for ourselves and loved ones, become assertive when we need to speak up, and ultimately motivate ourselves for action.… Read more...

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Why Must We Be Happy?

Deniz Sidali, M.A.

As a first generation child of European immigrants, I have always been perplexed by the constant almost obsessive quest by Americans to be happy. Almost all American movies must have a happy ending. It isn’t a coincidence that one of the most popular songs to be played constantly on the airways this year was Happy by Pharrell Williams. So what does it mean to be happy? A lot of times when I ask clients what goals they would like to work on in therapy, they will broadly state “All I want is to be happy”.… Read more...

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In Memory of Dr. Antony Kidman

It is with deep sadness and a heavy heart that we have learned that Dr. Tony Kidman has passed away.  Tony was a great scholar with a sharp mind and always had great insights into the human condition.  He was a kind person and treated everyone with respect.  He made great contributions to REBT and Psychology. He began his career as a neurobiologist, and then moved on to doing work on the emotional issues of women with breast cancer.… Read more...

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Unconditional Life-Acceptance: by, Shannon O’Neill, M.A.

This entry will be the last of my three-part series specific to acceptance. So far, we have discussed the acceptance of oneself and the acceptance of others. The last form of acceptance is known as Unconditional-Life Acceptance (ULA).

In today’s world, it seems as though most are struck with a tragedy at one point in their life. These types of events often lead to blame and liability that is often placed on the universe. Although the situation(s) one is dealt may be bad, terrible, or even horrific, constant negative thinking such as, “It shouldn’t have happened to me!” will only lead to more pain and suffering.… Read more...

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Achievement Intolerance Stands Alone By: Kristen Tobias, M.A.

This is my last blog to explore the different types of frustration intolerance (FI) discussed in a previous entry, Not All Frustrations are Created Equal.

As summer winds down and the academic year kicks off, the timing of this blog is fortuitous.  For many, achievement intolerance beliefs may have taken a hiatus for the summer.  As the pressure now mounts, achievement intolerant thinking may prevail, if left unchecked (or, in REBT lingo, the new workload is the activating event).… Read more...

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123 REBT ACTION By: Ennio Ammendola, M.A.

Last night I had a dream. I was in Sorrento eating at the restaurant “Don Alfonso.”

The restaurant was full, and I did not make any reservation, so I asked to sit at the same table with two gentlemen because their table had an empty chair. They agreed, and I began introducing myself by saying, “Thank you for letting me sit here with you. My name is Ennio Ammendola.” They introduced themselves by saying, “Hi, my name is James Prochaska, and my friend here is Carlo DiClemente!” Right after, to make a joke, I said, “I bet that now you are going to tell me that you are the ones who have developed the Trans-theoretical Model of Behavior Change…am I right?” They looked surprised and said, “Yes, we are the ones!” I replied, “To repay back for your kindness, I would like to offer you the dinner, but allow me to ask you one question!” They replied sarcastically, “Would you ask us if you drink red or white when you are eating fish?” I said, “NOOOOOO…I need to know if REBT is an action stage therapy!” They were silent for one minute, looking at each other, and I was sure that I had compromised the dinner, but suddenly they said, “Okay Ennio…123 REBT ACTION!”

I told them that I had been reading their books, and I had always been interested in how people change in therapy.… Read more...

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To Challenge or Not to Challenge by: Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

Once you learn REBT theory and begin to practice it, recognizing others’ irrational beliefs seems almost unavoidable. They’re everywhere!

Case in point: My friend is disturbing herself about her mother-in-law’s treatment and shoulding all over herself. So I, of course, ask, “Well why shouldn’t she come in to your house like she owns it and then tell you that you should learn to cook for her son?” Dead silence, and then my friend says, “What the hell is wrong with you?” Ouch!… Read more...

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I Shall Not “MUST” by: Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

I must let them know how I’m feeling! I need to let them know how angry I am!  For many of us these thoughts may have popped up in a moment of anger. While we cannot control the thoughts that come into our minds, we do have the choice of whether or not we want to listen. Just because one may think “I must show them how angry I am,” this thought is not necessarily true.… Read more...

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Baby Steps

Eric Sudler, Psy.D.

It has come to my attention that a lot of my close friends and family member have been freaking out a lot lately. There seems to always be some “insurmountable” obstacle, “impossible” task, or “unfair” deadline that has them in panic mode. Some of the recurrent phrases I’ve heard in the past weeks include:

“There’s no way I can get that done for my boss before next week!”

“The Financial Aid department at my school is a bunch of jerks!… Read more...

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Unconditional Other-Acceptance

Shannon O’Neill, MA

Remaining with the theme of my previous post, I will use my next two entries to discuss two additional forms of acceptance: Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life-Acceptance (ULA).

Similar to USA, UOA is the processes of acknowledging who an individual is without placing a weighted, global judgment upon them. Personally, I believe this concept requires more effort than USA. After all, people must be considerate, right? Unfortunately, no. I do not control the universe and if you haven’t noticed, other New Yorkers are not eager to follow another individual’s personal guidelines.… Read more...

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