Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

When Words Are Just Not Enough… There’s Intonation!!!!

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

A therapist, in many ways, is like a salesperson. We are trying to sell our clients a new way of thinking, and while it is true that they are coming in to be solicited, they still have to “make the purchase.” That is, they have to abandon the familiarity that they have known for years and replace it with something unfamiliar and new. After all, better the devil you know than the devil you know don’t.… Read more...

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Curing the “I cant stand-it-itis”

by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

I cannot stand this, I cannot handle this, I just cannot! These are the common symptoms of “I cant-stand-it-itis.” Similar to other “itises” those suffering from such symptoms may experience lack of motivation, difficulty focusing, and a reduction in productivity.

While I may come off as facetious in my description of “I can’t-stand-it-itis,” also known as frustration intolerance, Dr. Ellis recognized the significance these beliefs play in promoting unhealthy negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, and anger, as well as maladaptive behaviors including procrastination and avoidance.… Read more...

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Certainty in Romantic Love

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

Lately, it seems like a lot of people are looking for certainty in love.  In my professional and personal circles, individuals ask, “How do I know if he/she is the one for me?  What does it mean if I feel like I don’t know?  How can I move forward if I am not sure?”  It makes sense that individuals become paralyzed in a relationship when they engage in this type of thinking. … Read more...

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Change: A Process of the Present

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A.

Many would agree that our primary objective in life is to become the best version of ourselves. In order to achieve this, individuals attempt to avoid uncomfortable emotions (e.g., anger, depression, anxiety) by making calculated choices that promote happiness. Yet, if an individual is reluctant to experience present moments of discomfort, how will they be able to appreciate future moments of happiness? This does not mean we should actively seek out painful experiences; however, suppressing the discomfort that is already present will only allow unwanted experiences to continue occurring. … Read more...

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Functional versus Dysfunctional Anger: Part 2 – Functional Anger

by William Taboas, M.A. 

In this entry, we will first make the distinction between healthy and unhealthy anger. We will then discuss healthy beliefs to maintain a rational perspective in the face of potentially maddening situations.

You may be asking yourself “I was taught that anger is, and will always be, an undesired, unwanted, and bad emotion. But how could anger be healthy and functional?!” I would respond with this: You may be imagining anger as only being unhealthily enraged.… Read more...

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The 10 (Irrational) Commandments – Part 1 of 2

by Ennio Ammendola, M.A., MHC

How many times in life have you been talking to people who describe their lives in terms of a super rigid set of principles related to school, work, and relationships?

It feels like listening to the 10 Commandments, and people have to honor them “religiously” in order to give meaning to their lives. I do have a friend who describes his life in these terms. While I was thinking about him, my REBT brain kidnapped me and gave birth to one interesting question: “Is it FUNCTIONAL to base your life on the 10 Irrational Commandments?”

Before we attempt to answer this question, let’s have some fun by playing a game.… Read more...

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Practicing Productivity

Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

As I sat down to write this blog, I initially intended to discuss procrastination and the types of self-talk that can lead us to put off completing tasks.  As I thought more about this topic, I decided I wanted to examine it from a different angle.  Rather than discussing beliefs we may hold that lead us to procrastinate, I decided to explore the beliefs we may hold that create a situation that is more likely to trigger procrastination.… Read more...

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Donkey versus Elephant

Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

I have a dream that one day we will live in a world where theoretical orientation will not judged by its name, but by its efficacy and evidence base.

Last Sunday, I went to a psychotherapy integration conference. Each presenter, originally trained in psychoanalysis, practiced psychodynamic integration with diverse treatment modalities, including CBT. I was excited to expose myself to something different and hear samples of these therapists’ clinical work. I expected case presentations through vignettes, and I hoped to learn how these psychoanalysts used relational psychoanalysis, aspects of mentalization, intergenerational transmission of attachment and trauma, and combined this all with components of CBT.… Read more...

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Why Must We Be Happy? Part 2

Deniz Sidali, M.A.

This blog is a continuation on the theme of happiness and the sense of urgency that one needs to be happy at all times. This blog is not intended to discourage readers from striving towards a state of happiness. Albert Ellis himself noted that as human beings we should strive towards happiness, and that happiness is a necessary condition for optimal living and psychological well-being. A recently published research study concluded that individuals who are happier lead healthier, longer lives and cope better with stress.… Read more...

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101 Years!

Tomorrow marks the 101st birthday of our founder, Dr. Albert Ellis.  Please enjoy a video that was shown one year ago at his 100th birthday memorial celebration at the Albert Ellis Institute.



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