Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Time Wasted by Injustice Collecting

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

I was recently introduced to the term “injustice collecting.”  This catchy locution refers to the act of creating and maintaining a mental list of wrongs committed by others.  A preoccupation with fairness or rightness drives these cognitions.  You did something that you should not have done.  This view tends to be rather inflexible and simplifies occurrences by a moralistic dichotomy.  Parodied in the movie Billy Madison (1995), Steve Buscemi maintains a hit list taped to his living room wall of all of the people who wronged him in school (spoiler alert: when Adam Sandler calls to apologize for his poor treatment of Buscemi’s character, his name is effectively crossed off of the list!).… Read more...

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Doing What You Feel Like Doing and Doing What You Want To Do

by William Taboas, M.A.

Albert Ellis would emphasize that there is a pronounced difference between “doing what you feel like doing” and “doing what you want to do”. That is, the prior is emotion driven, where the latter is goal driven. And this is often the case that we are presented with many times. We “feel” like sleeping in, grabbing a second serving of food, indulging in another episode on Netflix, having one more drink,  or putting things off for one more day.… Read more...

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Thinking in Extremes

by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

‘Cause the good ole days weren’t
Always good
And tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems’

-Billy Joel, ‘83

The other day I was listening to the one and only Billy Joel, and a song lyric of his struck a chord. The above lyrics reflect two important types of beliefs in REBT, awfulizing and wonderfulizing.

Awfulizing refers to one’s evaluation of an event as being the most horrible and terrible situation, whereas wonderfulizing is evaluating a situation as being the most amazing and incredible event.… Read more...

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Once I Just Get this Done, Everything Will be… Perfect?

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

Have you ever said to yourself, “once (fill in the blank) happens, everything will be better/great/perfect?” Once I get through this day, everything will be great. There is so much inherently wrong with this way of thinking. And often, when that “thing” actually happens, everything does not become great. This is because we are putting so much stock into one thing in our lives. When we do this, we blind ourselves to enjoying or recognizing the positive things in our lives.… Read more...

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Read the Writing on the Wall

by Deniz Sidali, M.A. 

I constantly hear friends lamenting about failed relationships. I wonder if ruminating about the past is a way to seek closure on a chapter of their life that ended badly. Or, maybe dwelling on failed relationships is a way to seek control or hold onto their exes a little longer.  Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “you did not read the writing on the wall.”  Bad partners usually exhibit a pattern of bad behaviors.… Read more...

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The Fluctuation of Rules

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A. 

Imagine the rules you use to navigate the world around you. What are some characteristics that make up these rules? Are they based on emotion or logic? Are they rigid or flexible? Do the rules apply to you alone or are they generalizable to the rest of the world? I ask because individuals not only disturb themselves when they generate irrational rules/beliefs, but also when they continue to alter the rules they voluntarily put in place.… Read more...

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Procrastinators Unite…Tomorrow!

by William Taboas, M.A. 

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is always easier to postpone obligations instead of attending to them as soon as they come by. We often use the excuse of “I’ll get around to it, eventually”, “I can do it later”, “I will have more time tomorrow”, etc. Yet, for some of us (and I would say most of us), it is easier to put things off than to take a moment to complete a menial task.… Read more...

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Calling All New Puppy Owners

I just got a puppy!  He’s an adorable, sweet, lovable ball of joy…except when he’s not.  We decided to use crate training as a short-term tool for managing these early months.  Crate training is recommended by the ASPCA as well as other specialists, and is very effective if implemented properly.  However, it is not easy to implement and involves diligence on the part of the owner.  This strategy is successful because it encompasses simple principles of behaviorism, such as conditioning and reinforcement. … Read more...

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It is Okay to not Feel OK

by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S. 

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about the problems associated with giving-up all negative emotions. Not only would this be detrimental to our survival and day-to-day functioning (i.e. think of feeling calm in the face of a bear in the woods), but is also impossible. Lately, I have been thinking about a similar topic…

Let’s take the example of an individual, we can call him Albert, who enters therapy because he is not pleased with his job.… Read more...

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Throwing Out The Baby With The Bath Water

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

This past Monday I made a pretty big mistake at work. As my supervisor would still be away when we got back from winter break, he asked me to do something for him for an upcoming meeting. Because I forgot to write it down in my planner before we had a week off, I totally forgot to do it. When he followed up with me that night to see how it went, I totally lost it.… Read more...

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