Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

I Shall Not “MUST” by: Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

I must let them know how I’m feeling! I need to let them know how angry I am!  For many of us these thoughts may have popped up in a moment of anger. While we cannot control the thoughts that come into our minds, we do have the choice of whether or not we want to listen. Just because one may think “I must show them how angry I am,” this thought is not necessarily true.… Read more...

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Baby Steps

Eric Sudler, Psy.D.

It has come to my attention that a lot of my close friends and family member have been freaking out a lot lately. There seems to always be some “insurmountable” obstacle, “impossible” task, or “unfair” deadline that has them in panic mode. Some of the recurrent phrases I’ve heard in the past weeks include:

“There’s no way I can get that done for my boss before next week!”

“The Financial Aid department at my school is a bunch of jerks!… Read more...

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Unconditional Other-Acceptance

Shannon O’Neill, MA

Remaining with the theme of my previous post, I will use my next two entries to discuss two additional forms of acceptance: Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life-Acceptance (ULA).

Similar to USA, UOA is the processes of acknowledging who an individual is without placing a weighted, global judgment upon them. Personally, I believe this concept requires more effort than USA. After all, people must be considerate, right? Unfortunately, no. I do not control the universe and if you haven’t noticed, other New Yorkers are not eager to follow another individual’s personal guidelines.… Read more...

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Find away? Find a way.

William R. Taboas, MA

Facing discomfort, meeting deadlines, following through with commitments, addressing an issue with a co-worker, family member, or friend, are all part of daily living. Yet, we engage in procrastination, we put things off, we dodge, we flake out…we avoid. We walk away, steer from our obligations, needs, and goals, mostly because of fear and the potential stress it might cause. This is what I call “Finding Away”, perpetuating the cycle of walking away and finding comfort in avoidance.… Read more...

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You like “to-may-to” and I like “to-mah-to” You like “ir-ratio-nal” and I like “ra-tion-al”

Ennio Ammendola, M.A.

I have heard this word game endlessly but I never knew what it meant…so I decided to figure it out. Here is the official answer: “This quote is from a song called Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off []”

What happens when we utilize this quote with REBT? There can be four categories of clients based on this original quote:

1) Those who say: It is “to-may-to” and there is no “to-mah-to”
2) Those who say: It is “to-mah-to” and there is no “to-may-to”
3) Those who say: It is neither “to-mah-to” or “to-may-to”
4) Those who say: It is either “to-mah-to” or “to-may-to”

Are you lost???…

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Discomfort Intolerance

Kristen Tobias, M.A.

This blog is the third of four that will expound on the types of frustration intolerance (FI) discussed in my previous entry, Not All Frustrations are Created Equal.

Your life will expand, remain status quo, or shrink largely based on your willingness to stand discomfort. This assertion encapsulates an REBT term, discomfort intolerance, which refers to a personal philosophy that life not be too hard. Individuals who were prone to this thinking endorsed statements such as “I can’t stand doing things that involve a lot of hassle,” “I can’t stand having to persist at unpleasant tasks,” and “I can’t stand doing tasks when I’m not in the mood,” on the Frustration Discomfort Scale.… Read more...

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Blog Block

Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

When I learned that I would be writing a blog as part of my externship at the Albert Ellis Institute, I almost immediately felt very anxious. Then, when I learned that the topic of each blog was my choice, I became even more anxious; I have freer reign to mess up! To avoid the discomfort of feeling anxious, I avoided sitting down to write this blog.

Then I started to think about what I was doing, and how much this behavior (avoiding writing because of my anxious feelings) was going to hurt me in the long run.… Read more...

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Effective Complaining

William R. Taboas, M.A.

We all complain. Grumbling, criticizing and whining are all common behaviors we engage in on our day to day activities. But do you ever wonder if you complain too much? Has anyone said that you’re a total bummer, or maybe that you’re way too critical or judgmental? Are people avoiding you or tuning out when you complain? Is it getting in the way of school or work? More importantly: Is complaining getting in the way of you carrying on the things that you need to do?… Read more...

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Shannon O’Neill, MA

Let me begin by asking you a question: What would it take for you to consider yourself successful?

-A prestigious career?
-A sizable bank account?
-A thinner figure?

Although individually defined, the pressure for success can take over one’s life and often define self-worth. We have all seen the articles and many of us have fallen victim to them – 7 unique ways to attain success or 5 habits that the super successful do before 5 a.m.… Read more...

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The Practice of REBT Equals the Practice of REBT

Ennio Ammendola, M.A.

Three years ago, I started taking professional drum lessons with the expectations (better framed as illusions) that I was going to become a good drummer with just one hour a week of practice.

This illusion went on for quite some time until I realized that I was not improving, and so I was ready to quit my lessons. One day, I was talking to my teacher Matt, and I told him that I felt I was not improving and I was getting frustrated to the point that I was seriously considering not going to his lessons.… Read more...

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