Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Just Own It!

by Deniz Sidali, M.A. 

Why do we have so much difficulty accepting personal responsibility for things going bad? Or conflicts with our loved ones? For our children seeing us as awful parents? Or, simply making a mistake?  Well, it could be due to a self-serving bias, which is any cognitive or perceptual process that is distorted by the need to erroneously maintain and enhance our sense of self.  Have you ever listened to a friend, family member, or colleague discuss a troublesome matter involving themselves and another individual and wondered, “Gee, I wonder if that is how things really happened?” Well chances are the speaker you are listening to is describing the distressing situation in a manner where they leave out relevant information that makes them look good while they are equally if not more culpable for the matter at hand.… Read more...

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I Just Can’t Stand Not Knowing!

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.

The other day, as I was waiting for the train, the overhead monitor that says when the next train is coming was out of order. “Ugh!” I thought to myself, “well isn’t this just great?” “How am I supposed to know when the next train is coming now?” “Am I just supposed to stand here without knowing when the next one will arrive?” “Oh, the UNCERTAINTY!!!”  After some time spent doing this, I realized how silly it was.… Read more...

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A Preemptive Strike Against Anger

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

From an evolutionary perspective, anger was an advantageous emotion that contributed to survival.  In modern life, this emotion is inappropriately and excessively activated, and the potentially adverse consequences are plentiful.  Anger is associated with a host of health problems and typically does not beget harmonious interpersonal relationships.

Anger is aroused by idiosyncratic beliefs, typically not foreign to individuals.  In other words, most people are not in shock by the experience of feeling the emotion of anger.… Read more...

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Your Theme, Your Choice.

by William Taboas, M.A. 

The other day, I was discussing the concepts of cognitive biases and irrational beliefs to a close friend of mine. I recognize now how good and polite of a friend he was when he didn’t snooze through my explanation. Instead, he actually acted like a curious listener. Anyway, I explained, in a nutshell that, our mind takes mental shortcuts and makes good (but insufficient) summaries of all of the sensory information we are exposed to through our lifetime.… Read more...

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Self-Propelled

by Shannon O’Neill, M.A. 

While training for my first long distance race, I can safely say I was one of few who thought it was a good idea. Many looked at me with confusion while others simply asked, “Why?” Like most, when my friends and family heard their loved one was going to run 45 miles, they were concerned. As those around me began to question my ability, I did the same. My confidence steadily transformed to uncertainty.… Read more...

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Listening vs. Attending

by Ennio Ammendola, M.A. 

Anywhere you work, anywhere you go to school, and at any party you are present, there is almost always someone that asks, in the middle of a conversation, “Are you listening to me?”

There are two kinds of “Are you listening to me?” interruptions.  The first refers to the content and the second indicates psychological pain.

Let’s analyze these two scenarios:

SCENARIO #1

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?  (Focused on Content)You are with friends at a party and

one is telling you that he is planning to drive to Boston this weekend to go to visit his parents.… Read more...

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Dental Discomfort

by Brooke Guttenberg, M.S. 

After a long week at work I was happy to finally settle into the weekend. A few hours into Friday night I noticed a pulsing in my tooth. I decided to ignore it because I did not want anything to ruin my weekend. By Sunday night I knew I could not ignore it anymore… I knew, that I had my first cavity! Logically, I know that most of the population gets cavities, and most people have them multiple times in a life-time.… Read more...

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The Pig and the Cow

by Jennifer Shindman, M.S. 

The following story is taken from Robert Wubbolding’s book entitled, “Understanding Reality Therapy.” It is told by a man who was driving on a winding country road.

“It was a warm summer day and the motorists had their windows open. He started around the bend and another car came from the opposite direction. A woman leaned out of the window of her car and shouted, “Pig!” In a fleeting second he felt angry that he was unjustly accused of being a chauvinist.… Read more...

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Time Wasted by Injustice Collecting

by Kristen Tobias, M.A.

I was recently introduced to the term “injustice collecting.”  This catchy locution refers to the act of creating and maintaining a mental list of wrongs committed by others.  A preoccupation with fairness or rightness drives these cognitions.  You did something that you should not have done.  This view tends to be rather inflexible and simplifies occurrences by a moralistic dichotomy.  Parodied in the movie Billy Madison (1995), Steve Buscemi maintains a hit list taped to his living room wall of all of the people who wronged him in school (spoiler alert: when Adam Sandler calls to apologize for his poor treatment of Buscemi’s character, his name is effectively crossed off of the list!).… Read more...

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Doing What You Feel Like Doing and Doing What You Want To Do

by William Taboas, M.A.

Albert Ellis would emphasize that there is a pronounced difference between “doing what you feel like doing” and “doing what you want to do”. That is, the prior is emotion driven, where the latter is goal driven. And this is often the case that we are presented with many times. We “feel” like sleeping in, grabbing a second serving of food, indulging in another episode on Netflix, having one more drink,  or putting things off for one more day.… Read more...

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