Category Archives: rebt-cbt-post

Challenge, Maintain, Reflect and Repeat

By Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

When sitting down to write my blog this week, I decided that it was time to take a different approach. Many times I focus on ways to change a specific behavior or emotion by applying the principles of REBT. This approach presumes that the readers of my blog are experiencing an emotional or behavioral disturbance. This week, I decided to answer the question, What can you do if you aren’t experiencing an emotional or behavioral disturbance?… Read more…

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Control

By Ricky Hornblass, Ph.D.

We all have a sense that we can control or have power over everything and everyone in our lives. I often talk to parents who feel tremendous guilt and anxiety when their children do not behave the way they would like or do not achieve the success that they had hoped. Similarly, individuals often become angry when they tell themselves that others’ should behave differently and that they can change them if they just work hard enough at it.… Read more…

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Keep Calm? Carry On?

By Dan Prendergast, M.A.

It is a fact of life that time will continue to pass and life will continue to happen, regardless of how ready we might be for it. It is also a fact that multiple difficult times and transitional periods are highly likely for all people, and that we will not be completely ready for every single one of them. People often avoid encountering an adversity until they are prepared for it or until they believe that they are emotionally ready.… Read more…

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Angsting in Anticipation

By Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

Many of us often find ourselves fretting in anticipation of events or tasks. These situations may range from confronting a boss or a friend, to a project or task that carries weight. While preparation is beneficial in helping to secure one’s success, the manner in which we approach such planning can make all of the difference. If we do not pay attention to the content of our internal dialogue, we may be doing ourselves more harm than good.… Read more…

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Mind Over Money

By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.

Have you ever thought that money would solve all of your problems? Or that it would make you happier? Do you refuse to buy something unless you can pay for it in cash? Or, do you overspend in an attempt to appear that you have more than you actually do? Answering these questions can help you identify common beliefs about money that could be related to how you manage money. Beliefs about money, or money scripts, are unconscious beliefs that developed during childhood and have a negative impact on financial behaviors.… Read more…

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No More Excuses, Just Do It!

By Kim Kassay, M.S.

You can admit it, you’ve done it…you put something off until tomorrow (and maybe a few more tomorrows) when it really would have been better to have done it sooner than later. We make up excuses, and attempt to rationalize why we aren’t dong it. I admit I’ve done it (more than just a few times) and in fact I’ve attempted to do it while writing this blog (did I really need to get up to get a snack?… Read more…

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Healthy Loving

By Kristen Tobias, M.A.

Humans are relational beings, and loving and being loved throughout the lifespan can engender a vitality that is hard to find elsewhere. The experience of love, of mattering to someone, someone who bears witness to our life by celebrating our accomplishments and making the difficult times easier, that we experience a sexual connection with, can be utterly transformative. Love gives meaning to our lives. It is a cruel twist of fate (although by no means counterintuitive) that the same experience that can so easily enrich our lives, can also be associated with profound hurt, disappointment, anger, depression—the list of potential love ailments goes on and on.… Read more…

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What are you going to do about it?

By Brooke Guttenberg, M.S.

Understanding may not be equivalent to believing, adopting, or practicing. Self-reflection and introspection may help us uncover maladaptive patterns of thinking and coping; however, recognizing does not always bring about change. This “Head-Gut” problem may arise when we understand the irrationality of our beliefs that lead to negative unhealthy emotions (anxiety, depression, unhealthy anger); however, we have yet to replace them with a philosophy facilitating healthier alternatives (annoyance, frustration, sadness). While we may be able to recite how our irrational beliefs are unhelpful, as well as recognize the benefits of new rational beliefs, we may be resistant to putting these new beliefs into practice.… Read more…

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Dealing With Your Partner’s Fear of Intimacy

By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.

Does it seem like every time you start to get close to your partner, she or he finds a way to prevent you from connecting on a deeper level? If so, your partner may be struggling with fear of intimacy.

WHAT IS INTIMACY?

In order to understand fear of intimacy, it is helpful to understand what defines intimacy. As reported by Miodrag Popovic (2005) in his article “Intimacy and Its Relevance in Human Functioning,” the word intimacy originates “from the Latin term ‘intimus’ which means ‘innermost’ and refers to sharing what is inmost with others” (p.… Read more…

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Breaking the Unbreakable Pattern

By Eric Sudler, Psy.D.

Here we go again. Time to make a conscious effort to be insane. For each of us, we have reached a particular comfort level in one or more areas of our life. Although we want to strive for better things and more opportunities, we refuse to do what it takes to get there. Why should we have to change? Staying the same is sooooooo much easier and requires much less effort. Anything else would require… work and possible discomfort.… Read more…

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