by Kristen Tobias, M.A.
The adage “Time Heals all Wounds” is commonly cited. Does time actually heal all wounds? Probably not, some wounds are so profound that they will be felt for a lifetime. But there does seem to be some truth to this enduring expression. Time is a noun that is used to denote a circumscribed period. How does a thing, a stretch of days, weeks, months, or years restore well-being? Time, it seems, represents the ultimate exposure and the extent to which time heals, is likely related to some core components of REBT.
Time is proof that we can stand something. When this unfortunate event happens, we may think that we can’t stand it, that the burden is too big to bear, or that we absolutely cannot tolerate these circumstances. But then we DO stand it. Not only do we stand it, we can experience moments of a positive emotion in spite of this thing that happened. We may want to give up, but each passing day is proof that we can stand whatever happened. Time shows individuals that they are strong enough to survive and tolerate events that happen to them.
Time provides evidence that we are not all bad, that others are not all bad, or that the world is not all bad. If we do something rotten and globally rate ourselves as this good-for-nothing person, time shows us that we are capable of doing good things, proof that we are not all bad (just that we did a bad thing). Or we succeed at something, which shows us that we are not a failure, but rather that we failed at one thing. The same goes for others and the world. We might be angry with someone for something they did and classify them as a total scoundrel, but then they go and do something that is not bad! We end up with evidence that is contrary to our thinking, which makes it hard to maintain the belief.
