by William Taboas, M.A.
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
– T.S. Elliot
We have the ability as thinking beings to overcome our fears. In REBT, the goal isn’t to become unfeeling Vulcans, but have our feelings based on rational perceptions of reality. I was recently listening to a TED talk on Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, namely the topic of safety and security. They spoke about how many humans become intolerant of the uncertainty of risk taking, meaning a lot of people don’t take any action or risks that could be potentially beneficial because of their relationship with uncertainty.
During the TED talk, they pointed out how some people have security but do not feel secure, and others have no stable security but feel stable nonetheless. The thesis of the talk was that security can be a subjective perception. When experiencing uncertainty, most of us make up in our heads a worst case scenario, generating emotions such as fear and anxiety. We think and believe that extremes are more normal than they actually are. We tend to forget that extreme events are rare on the one hand. And on the other hand, we forget that people survive and thrive in situations that are fundamentally insecure.
A major component of anxiety and fear treatment would be to develop a tolerance for uncertainty. Just because you experience anxiety about something (e.g., “I feel unsafe taking risks and I’m paralyzed”), it is not necessarily a threat. Some consider this an example of emotional reasoning. In REBT, we encourage people to go out and take (reasonable) risks in life when “playing it safe” becomes dysfunctional. We don’t suggest eliminating the uncertainty of life per se, but changing our view and relationship in the face of not knowing. Taking risks may be perceived as and “feel” unsafe when an outcome is uncertain; however, we risk losing more by not taking chances.
What kind of relationship do you have with risk?
