by Rosina Pzena, M.S.
It’s summer, and that means for many of us when we open up social media and check our Facebook and Instagram feeds, they are plastered with photos of our friends enjoying fun day-trips and vacations. One friend is having a relaxing beach day, one is partying in the Hamptons, and another is wine tasting in California. Looking through social media while I’m sitting on my couch or heading in to work can result in me feeling really depressed.
When I check social media this summer, thoughts start running through my head, such as “I should be able to go on fun trips like these,” “I can’t stand that my friends didn’t invite me,” “My life is the worst,” etc. Social media is supposed to help us connect with friends and loved ones, but it is also a tool by which I compare my life to my friends’ and conclude that my life comes up short.
Using my knowledge of REBT, I recognize that these beliefs about my life are irrational, false, and unhelpful. These thoughts are causing me to be depressed, which is making my summer even worse! I can work to challenge these irrational beliefs and replace them with more rational ones such as “I would like to go on fun summer trips this year, but there is no reason I must,” “I don’t like that my friends did not invite me, but I can tolerate it,” and “My life has many positives and negatives, and I can’t give it a global negative rating based on one aspect.”
Something that will also really help me to identify with that last rational belief is to consider all the things I am currently doing with my life, such as working at the Albert Ellis Institute, spending time with family, and continuing to work on my doctorate. While I am not on vacation having a 100% fun summer, it is clear to see from listing out these activities that my life is definitely not “the worst”. This is a skill that we all can utilize when we start comparing ourselves, our activities, and our achievements to those of our friends and loved ones. We can remind ourselves that we are people with both successes and flaws, and one negative aspect of ourselves does not bring down our global self or life worth.
