By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.
As summer approaches, many people anticipate long sunny days filled with fun. Summer can also be a challenging time for singles as couples seem to occupy every sidewalk café, beach, or venue you can imagine. With love so blatantly in the air, summer is a time when some may consider starting a relationship. Some have an easy time finding the love they want, but others struggle to start healthy relationships. Here are some tips to consider.
Assess Your Contributions. Healthy relationships are mutually beneficial. Aside from determining what you’re looking for in a partner, know what you have to offer. If you want to find a good fit in a partner, start by being honest about who you are. Don’t worry about trying to be everything to everyone. This makes it easier to connect with someone who will accept and appreciate you.
Set Goals. Are you looking to have fun or are you searching for a potential spouse? Do you and your potential partner have the same goals? It’s also a good idea to know what qualities you value in a potential mate. This way, you make the most of your time.
Be Aware. Be mindful of signs that someone is flirting with you and flirt back if you’re interested. It’s also helpful to have insight into your dating patterns. For example, do you prefer to be asked out or is it no big deal for you to make the first move? Do you think you need to change your approach to get better results?
Continue to Assess Your Love Life. Periodically assess your relationships and if they have become stagnant, negative, or dangerous, it’s time to move on. Also, remaining interested in people who aren’t interested in you leaves you with less time to focus on people who actually want to connect with you. Don’t waste time dwelling on reasons why someone lost interest in you. You may never really know and it’s probably for the best that things didn’t work out.
So, here’s to healthy and happy relationships. Let the countdown to summer begin!