by Jeff Goldman, M.A.
The other day I learned that REBT is not just applicable in the therapist’s office. For me, this took place in the dentist’s office! I have been to the dentist many times and have never had a bad experience. Then, like others who dread seeing the dentist, I got my first taste of their apprehension. Due to a stubborn cavity that wouldn’t quit, I needed to have a wisdom tooth pulled!
After the dentist saw the X-ray, she said the tooth had to be extracted. I was surprised because I wasn’t in any pain (only slight discomfort). She then showed me the X-ray and I saw how deep the cavity was. She instructed me to make an appointment to have it done. Before coming in, I was told the office was booked solid and that they squeezed me in to see her. Her next appointment was a week away.
As I was setting up the appointment, the irrational beliefs started flooding in. I looked at my dentist and the office manager and asked, “Why can’t we do it today?” I then continued with, “I know I am not in pain and a week will not make a difference but…this must get done today. I need to get this over with. I am here and we should do it.” As I was getting lost in my “musts” and “shoulds”, I conveniently forgot I did not have an appointment and that the office was really busy (I am saying this in front of a packed waiting room of patients!) Demandingness at its best…thinking that the world revolves around us!!
It turned out that my dentist was really nice. She told me to wait around and she would take me in to get it done. Getting what I wanted was a good thing, but the procedure I needed was not going to be fun! I thought getting a cavity drilled can be uncomfortable, but getting a tooth pulled is something I couldn’t fathom. The thought of having this done was somewhat nerve-wracking. Then my inner REBT therapist kicked in. I said to myself, “This might be unpleasant but it is not going to be terrible.” “Many have gone through this and are still here…I will be able stand this!” Well, despite these little bouts with awfulizing and frustration intolerance, I worked up the gumption to go through with the procedure. In reality, I did not have a choice, but smoothing it out with rational statements made it somewhat easier.
Turns out, the procedure was painless and only took about 15 minutes. It really wasn’t that bad. Now before going through it, I did not know this (if only hindsight was 20/20!). However, I do know that applying REBT’s principles made it a lot easier!
