by Megan Sy, M.A., M.S.
I struggle with irrational thinking every time I ride the subway. There are just so many things that get on my nerves – people that hog the poles, people that stand in the doorways, people that take up too much room, people that use strong-smelling lotion… I could go on and on all day. Whether it’s a huge inconsiderate thing or a small petty thing, I guarantee I’ve been upset by it. Recently though, I realized that I’ve passed the point of being annoyed at these situations and instead am finding myself really angry. It’s certainly not the emotion I’d like to be feeling at 8 a.m. when I am trying to get to work.
Because I’m not fond of feeling angry, I’ve tried to be more aware of the irrational thoughts that enter my mind during my commute. Usually, there are some pretty heavy demands, such as “These people should act better” and “Everyone must be considerate on the subway.” Certainly, this kind thinking is what is fueling my anger. In response to this, my rational self would say that expecting or preferring considerate behavior in social situations is very different from demanding it. After all, there is no rule that says that everyone must behave in line with what I think is appropriate. Most importantly, holding on to these demands will lead to so many additional hours of unhealthy anger. Let’s say I take the subway five days a week, two hours total each day, for a whole year. That’s more than 500 hours of being angry. In that same amount of time, I can eat 500 nice dinners, go to the gym 250 times, or watch 500 episodes of The Bachelor, which are all more enjoyable alternatives.
