by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.
The following story is taken from Robert Wubbolding’s book entitled, “Understanding Reality Therapy.” It is told by a man who was driving on a winding country road.
“It was a warm summer day and the motorists had their windows open. He started around the bend and another car came from the opposite direction. A woman leaned out of the window of her car and shouted, “Pig!” In a fleeting second he felt angry that he was unjustly accused of being a chauvinist. He wasn’t even “hogging” the road, and so felt this accusation was unwarranted. Being angry at this name calling, he returned the perceived insult by shouting “Cow!” (or the equivalent of this word). Then, as he came around his part of the bend, he ran over a pig in the middle of the road. How easy it is to misinterpret others’ behavior and give it a meaning they did not intend.
This story is a great illustration/metaphor for how our perceptions can work against us! This woman was trying to warn this man, and because he misperceived the situation, a pig died! I wonder how often we do this. How often do we evaluate events that happen around us, rather than just interpret their actual meaning? Let me give you another example. The other day, my friend sent me a text message that read, “Really, you think? LOL.” Instead of answering her, and letting her know what I thought (which was her question), I evaluated her words and made them mean that she was laughing at what I thought about a specific matter and that she thought I was wrong. When I thought this, I got angry because how dare she possibly think this, and I immediately called her. It turns out that I was completely wrong.
Still, how many times have you felt a negative emotion based on your faulty evaluation of a situation, especially when it comes to text messages, which are even more ambiguous! Think about all those times you assigned intonation to a TEXT message sent to you by someone. What a dangerous game!
The lesson of the day: SLOW DOWN! Pay attention to your thoughts and notice when you are coloring a situation by evaluating it. Instead, try just describing the events as they happened. This way, you will avoid feeling unhealthy negative emotions…. And killing innocent pigs.
