Jennifer Shindman, M.S.
Here is your challenge, should you choose to accept it. Take any activity you do every day without much thought, like riding the train, driving or walking home from work, or even walking your dog. I challenge you to notice five things you have never noticed before about your surroundings, despite having done this particular activity probably hundreds, even thousands of times. Try paying attention to the architecture around you, to others around you, to the trees, the breeze on your face, to the different smells. Scratch the last one though if you are doing this activity on the subway; it is probably not a good idea to pay attention to the smells.
I am willing to bet that this challenge will be very easy for most of us; I know it was for me! If you find this task very easy, it may be because instead of being aware and thinking about your surroundings, you are usually too wrapped up in your own thoughts instead. The dishes will still be in the sink when you get home, no matter how much you think about them. Same with all of those unfinished assignments you left at work; they will still be there tomorrow morning. There is no need to bring them home with you. Give yourself a break! Look around!
However, it is also important to ask yourself what thoughts you are leaving behind while completing this challenge. Are you daydreaming about something pleasant? Are you worrying about bills or everything that you have to do as soon as you get home or to work? Is there a common theme among your thoughts; are you always thinking about the same thing? More importantly, how are you feeling when you are thinking these thoughts? Do you feel anxious, depressed, very angry, guilty, ashamed, or hurt? Is this particular way of thinking interfering with your goals, whatever they may be?
If you feel any of the above emotions, maybe it is time to dig a little deeper and explore your thoughts. Let’s take an example. Assume you are feeling anxious about the pile of work you left on your desk at 5:00p.m. What is it that you are telling yourself about this pile of work that is leading to your feeling anxious? Are you demanding that it not be there and maybe that it is not fair that it is? Are you thinking about how truly awful having to complete all of this work is? Is it that you just cannot stand to have to complete this stack of assignments? Or do you believe that the fact that you left unfinished assignments at work makes you a crappy, irresponsible person?
Whatever the belief, if your goal is to not feel so crappy about this unfinished work and to go home and enjoy dinner, how will demanding your situation be different from reality help you achieve it? It will not! But how do you fill your time now that we’ve established that worrying about your situation will not change it? Oh, I know! Why don’t you pay attention to your surroundings and see what you discover! 