by Kim Alexander, M.S.
So goes the Monday morning alarm… loud and early. I move swiftly and spirited. You can tell I just came back from a vacation! I have so much time to burn that I decide to put a little extra care and wear my new gold chain and pendant. Only thing is that I tried to put the slippery little thing on while hovering over the bathroom sink while the faucet was on! In retrospect, I still can’t understand what made me think that was a good idea. But in the moment, as I watched the pendant fly off the chain and listened to the jingle of it as it disappeared, all I could tell you is I felt a mixture of fear, despair, and anxiety in its purest form. I was physically shaking and telling myself a whole host of self-depreciating statements about how irresponsible I am.
Problem was that this was not helpful, especially, at such a critical time. Fact of the matter is that there was still a chance that I may be able to find my pendant in the “elbow” of the drain. And telling myself how stupid I was for such an error was irrationally evaluating my entire worth and wasting time… I still needed to get to work after all.
So, I call for help! And that’s when my anxiety, fear, and despair that I deescalated, turned into pure ANGER! Apparently, the one person in my home that would be my resource to accessing the drain said they’ll do it AFTER they finish their morning COFFEE!!!!! Well now a new host of statements flooded my mind… What disrespect?! He should do what I ask now! This is a hell of a lot more important than your coffee!!! …needless to say, these were all DEMANDS…and ALL unhelpful because telling myself this was only making me angrier and causing me to respond in a negative tone that wouldn’t encourage anyone to do any favor!
So, I took a minute to breathe and assess the urgency of the matter. I thought to myself… by this time 10-15 minutes have gone by. If the pendant is gone, it’s been gone and life will still continue… and if it’s not gone, then it’s probably stuck in the elbow of the drain. If that’s the case then provided no one turns the faucet on, it should be safe. So, CALM DOWN KIM!
Honestly, that moment that I took to put things into perspective… to breathe, think differently, and realize how unpleasant I was behaving toward others shifted the whole outcome of the situation. I was able to re-approach asking for help by somberly (not furiously) explaining the chance of obtaining the pendent before anyone needs to use the sink. And then…
20 minutes later, I got my pendent back! And I was still on time for work!