by Jennifer Shindman, M.S.
A therapist, in many ways, is like a salesperson. We are trying to sell our clients a new way of thinking, and while it is true that they are coming in to be solicited, they still have to “make the purchase.” That is, they have to abandon the familiarity that they have known for years and replace it with something unfamiliar and new. After all, better the devil you know than the devil you know don’t. So we better make sure that the unknown devil is really no devil at all.
First, we have to help show clients that their current product (way of thinking) is defective and dysfunctional. Many times, this can be achieved through Socratic questioning. For example, “how is thinking this way making things difficult for you?” Once you have helped the client understand that they are working with a faulty product, it is more likely that he will be ready to be pitched a new one.
But how do we most effectively pitch and sell the new product? Of course, by using various disputational styles and by doing this as Socratically as possible (when appropriate). But is it only about the words we use? What about the way in which we use our words and deliver our statements? The more persuasive we are, the more likely the client is to buy in. If we use evocative, attention getting, and arousing techniques, our clients will be more inclined to give up their irrational beliefs and replace them with more rational ones.
But how is this accomplished? How do we put the extra “oomph” in the message we are trying to deliver or the product we are trying to sell? In fact, there are several ways in which we could more forcefully debate irrational beliefs. One specific way that this could be accomplished is by changing our intonation. If you have ever heard or listened to a recording of Albert Ellis doing therapy, he often changes his intonation as he identifies, disputes, or says irrational and rational beliefs. More specifically, when he pronounced a word denoting an irrational concept, his voice emphasized the affect that was associated with the irrational belief. He raised his volume, the pitch of his voice, and extended and elongated the syllables in the word representing the irrational concept. “Why is it AAWWWFFULLLL that you did not get what you wanted?” Then, when he helped the client change the “awful” to “unfortunate,” Dr. Ellis again pronounced the words (now reflecting rational concepts) in a distinct way. He spoke the key word slowly, enunciated very clearly, and raised the pitch of his voice as well as the volume. As a result, different auditory stimuli were associated with different concepts, making them more salient and easy to remember.
While is it not recommended to imitate Dr. Ellis’s use of this paralinguistic technique, it is recommended to find gestures and techniques that fit your style and that will highlight the difference between irrational and rational beliefs and their effect on emotions. For example, I am a loud speed-talker, so when I am trying to make an important point, I lower my voice and speak very slowly. This way, my client is alerted to my making a point not only by what I am saying, but also by how I am saying it. And as a result, s/he is more likely to buy what I’m selling!
