by Rosina Pzena, M.S.
Something we often distresses ourselves about – whether we become angry, depressed, or another unhealthy negative emotion – is when other people point out one of our flaws, even when they are being 100% accurate. Most people have sensitive subjects. I often, for example, become irritated when people make jokes about how short I am, my sister hates when people notice or comment about her big feet, and my mother gets angry when people bring up her Brooklyn accent.
Looking at this from a personal standpoint, I feel angry when people bring up a flaw of mine because I often hear the same things again and again and, of course, I don’t want to hear about any of my flaws. I already know and think about them all the time! However, it’s clear that this is an irrational idea. Of course we all want to hear positive feedback from people, but it’s unreasonable to expect that people should never mention any of our flaws… especially when we have probably heard remarks on these particular flaws countless times in our lives.
The evidence suggests that, unless I miraculously grow a few inches, I will continue to hear remarks about my height for the rest of my life. However, I don’t have to let this bother me if I choose to think differently. Everyone has flaws because we are all human beings, and hearing about our flaws (while maybe uncomfortable, or not preferred) only serves to remind us that we are all unique, fallible, flawed people. So next time someone points out a flaw of yours, practice accepting yourself with your good traits as well as your flaws and fallibilities.
