Ennio Ammendola, M.A.

I have heard this word game endlessly but I never knew what it meant…so I decided to figure it out. Here is the official answer: “This quote is from a song called Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ3fjQa5Hls]”

What happens when we utilize this quote with REBT? There can be four categories of clients based on this original quote:

1) Those who say: It is “to-may-to” and there is no “to-mah-to”
2) Those who say: It is “to-mah-to” and there is no “to-may-to”
3) Those who say: It is neither “to-mah-to” or “to-may-to”
4) Those who say: It is either “to-mah-to” or “to-may-to”

Are you lost??? Okay…let’s make things fun now. Let’s substitute the word “to-may-to” with irrational and the word “to-mah-to” with rational. Let’s go back for a second and reformulate our 4 categories again:

1) Those who say: It is “irrational” and there is no “rational” (The awfulizers)
2) Those who say: It is “rational” and there is no “irrational” (The wonderfulizers)
3) Those who say: It is neither “rational” or “irrational” (The undeciders)
4) Those who say: It is either “rational” or “irrational” (The realityers)

Do you have any preference for working with any of these clients? I KNOW YOU DO!!! I have been collecting data for the last 30 years and our sample of non-REBT psychotherapists answered as follows:

Category #1 clients: 5%
Category #2 clients: 85%
Category #3 clients: 5%
Category #4 clients: 5%

On the other hand, I also have been collecting data for the last 30 years for REBT psychotherapists and they answered as follows:

Category #1 clients: 25%
Category #2 clients: 25%
Category #3 clients: 25%
Category #4 clients: 25%

The point I am trying to make here is that REBT therapists meet the clients where they are, and its existential nature as well as its concept of unconditional other acceptance (UOA) make it possible for us to see clients as fallible human beings and we NEVER judge them as being awfulizers, wonderfulizers, undeciders, or realityers…

Do you remember Dr. Ellis’ quote? “I will accept other people unconditionally because all humans are fucked up fallible human beings!”

May the “to-may-to” and “to-mah-to” be with us!