by Mike Toohey, M.A.
It’s time that we stop kidding ourselves. We know our thoughts are irrational. We know it doesn’t help to think irrationally or to feel anxious/depressed/angry. We’ve talked about it to everyone. We’ve disputed our thoughts into oblivion. We bleed rationality. And yet, nothing is different. We think, “I’ll make a change when the time is right.”
Good luck with that. Sometimes the right time will never come unless we make it the right time. We may need to push ourselves. Generally, it can be easier to perform a behavior when the hindering emotion (anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, etc.) is reduced. However, there are times when, as much as we talk about it, we still feel upset about a situation. Often, that emotion won’t be reduced until after we change our behavior. That means we take a leap. We force ourselves to behave despite the emotional discomfort.
To put it concretely:
Still feeling anxious about asking that girl out even though you know that rejection isn’t the end of the world? Just do it. You can stand the anxiety. It won’t make you explode. Act according to your rationality, even if you don’t feel it yet.
Feel too depressed to exercise? Just do it anyway. Exercise has been empirically shown to help reduce depression, so by not exercising you are choosing to keep yourself depressed.
Too angry to get back to work? That’s BS and you know it. You get back to work. Purposefully changing your behavior to parallel your anger will only keep you angry.
In other words, it might be time to stop waiting for your emotions to change in order to change your behavior. Just do it already.