by Kristina Wilder, M.A.
I take the subway to work every day. My particular subway stop is deep within the depths of Manhattan, so I go up four escalators before I step into the bright light of day. Typically, I get in line for the right side of the escalator, the right side being for all of my fellow “standers.” The “walkers” with their seemingly boundless energy and eagerness to be free of the bowels of the subway climb up the left side of the escalator. So, while the walkers walk up, we standers patiently wait, shuffling between escalators until we are released from the underground to the vibrant street.
One recent morning began just as I described, I stand to the right while people to the left begin the long climb to freedom. This continues for the first two escalators. As I stepped onto the third escalator, I noticed a woman standing on the left side one step behind me. The people who had been walking on the left side were irritated and squeezed her to the side so that they could climb around her and continue walking up the left side. All the while, the left-side-stander was yelling at the walkers: “take the stairs if you want to walk up! There are stairs right there! I’m going to stand on the escalator!” I’d never seen people get so frustrated with “standers” that they then climb around that person to continue on their way – a commuting first.
And I understood the frustration the walkers experienced. I thought to myself, “How dare she?! She should have followed the rules! What a jerk for standing on the left. She shouldn’t be yelling at people, she’s crazy.” As she yelled at the walkers to walk up the stairs and that the escalator is for standing, I rolled my eyes. Then she turned her yelling to me, “Go ahead, roll your eyes at me!” This didn’t do much to change my opinion that this lady was clearly unreasonable. “Now she’s yelling at me?! AT ME?! For a silly eye-roll, I’ll show her, I’ll roll my eyes even more!”
My fellow commuters and I could all point our fingers at the unreasonable lady standing on the left and say that she and her refusal to follow escalator etiquette caused our frustration, anger, and general negative mood. However, the reality is that we did it to ourselves. Our demand that she follow unspoken social rules and our condemnation of her because she broke them is what resulted in our emotions, not a stubborn lady. Other escalator riders with different beliefs probably didn’t get as worked up. For example, if a walker said to themselves “it would be nice if she would follow unspoken social guidelines on escalators, but that doesn’t mean she has to; and refusal to follow expectations doesn’t make her a bad person” that walker probably would have had a more pleasant trip into work and would probably not have been angry enough to push past her. Pushing past her was dangerous and could have hurt someone. So, not getting so angry that one feels like climbing around a stubborn left-side-stander would result in both less negative mood, but also increased safety on the commute to work.
So, yes, I thought the lady was ridiculous for not following rules, hence my eye-rolling. I also thought her yelling at me and her fellow commuters was antagonistic and not right. But, she is allowed to behave that way. There is no universal law requiring standers to remain on the right. If there was, she would not have been capable of standing on the left, the universe would have stopped her. Our demand that she not stand there is irrational; and our condemnation of her for breaking a rule is inappropriate as well. To summarize a whole person by their behavior on one escalator on one day is disproportionate. Just as it would be unreasonable for her to evaluate me solely based on my eye-roll.
Considering this, I hope that I and my fellow commuters can remember that although we want people to be compliant with the hustle and bustle as we all try to get to work on time, people don’t have to be compliant simply because it’s what we want. They can be as stubborn as they want, yell as much as they want, and slow us down. Just because we don’t like it, doesn’t mean they can’t do it. We can tolerate it when people literally stand in the way of our getting to work, and we can avoid condemning the whole person for doing so. I hope I remember this myself the next time I see a left-side-stander.
Safe travels.