by Merav Harris, M.S.
I recently read a study suggesting that individual’s decision making is altered depending on the congruency between brand valiance (either liked or not liked) and a deck of cards on a gambling task. This study suggests that emotional factors, such as a personal preference of a brand’s logo, are central to the fundamental process of decision making, disputing that a well thought-out, rational process occurs. More broadly, the research demonstrates a seemingly irrational effect of brands on our behavior. In the distinct feature of REBT, the idea that emotional disturbance is largely explained by irrational beliefs that a person holds in the situation in which the disturbance is experienced, isn’t it worth it for us to uncover our individual beliefs (attitudes, expectations, and personal rules) before we make decisions?
Decision making can be regarded as the mental process resulting in the selection of a course of action among several alternative scenarios. It is necessary to examine decisions in the context of personal needs, preferences, and values, while also integrating environmental factors. However, most decisions we make in a regular day occur unconsciously. In a controlled environment, such as a therapy session, I encourage my clients to weigh the pros and cons before making a decision, or apply their knowledge in a given area to making informed decisions. Yet we do not engage in these mental activities all the time. Just the other day when I was driving, I reached an intersection and wanted to make a left hand turn. But of course there was a ‘no left-hand turn’ sign which I decided to ignore (I just had to get home right away to tell my husband my good news). And sure enough, I was pulled over by a police officer, and received a hefty fine. Although I did a brief mental evaluation of the no-left-turn situation, I ultimately decided to go against my better judgement. So what underlying irrational beliefs was I holding at that moment? That the world should allow me to make up my own driving rules as I go along? Given everything I know about moving violations, and the frequency of traffic police seen in New York City, my personal preferences about wanting a more convenient route home seemed to dominate my decision making process. This driving example is clearly an oversimplification of how this plays out in life.
We insist that buying an extra pair of shoes (we can’t afford) is a necessity, when in fact we can barely pay our rent. And we readily put ourselves down, insisting that we should be more intelligent, achieving, beautiful, than as other people, rather than adopt the idea that we would do better if we accept ourselves as an imperfect creature, who has general human limitations and specific fallibilities. In order for us to keep emotion factors “in-check” when we make decisions, we must figure out a way to evaluate our currently held attitudes, emotions, and maladaptive behaviors that self-sabotage a fuller experience of life. Easier said than done, right?
My recommendation is to forcefully confront the very thing that gets you into trouble. If you have a tendency to act irrationally or in a self-harming manner during certain situations, exposure to that stimuli is a way to overcome it. Adopt a new self-statement that can override the automatic emotional response. And lastly, know that Unconditional Self-Acceptance, Other-Acceptance, and Life-Acceptance will lead to a more fulfilling and happy life.