by Merav Harris, M.S.
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is a proverbial phrase used to encourage optimism and a can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. As most of us know, “lemons” in this expression is used in the informal sense of the word, to indicate an unfortunate or inadequate situation, a meaning which probably stems from the sour and acidic taste of unsweetened lemons. On the other hand, “lemonade” is a sweetened form of the same acerbic fruit, and so in the context of this expression conveys the potential for pleasure and opportunity in seemingly bad situations.
I recently took a 4-day vacation to Mexico. When I imagined this tropical destination in anticipation of my trip, I was excited to sit out in the hot sun and swim in the ocean- two things you certainly can’t do in New York City in December. But as my plane landed in Cabo san Lucas, the temperature was in the mid-to-high 60s, and the sun was nowhere to be found. You can imagine my weather disbelief as this occurrence is an anomaly to Mexico. I soon realized the one sweater I packed would be worn the entire trip, and my sandals stayed in the suitcase. Having prefaced this blog about lemons and lemonade, I’m sure you can see where I am going.
I took this opportunity to read several books for pleasure (something a doctoral student doesn’t always manage to do), I went on hiatus from email/facebook/phone (something a New Yorker doesn’t always manage to do), and most importantly, I thought about my “lemon” in a more positive manner. Rather than remind myself all week long that this trip was a waste of money and not worth traveling when the weather wasn’t to my expectations, I laughed, embraced the foreign country, noticed the beauty and culture around me, and adjusted to the current situation. In most cases, people don’t merely get upset by unfortunate adversities; they construct their views of reality through their language, evaluative beliefs, meanings and philosophies about the world, themselves, and others. When we learn that our disturbed reactions are not caused by the adversities, but rather that our thoughts and beliefs about such adversities take over, we are able to lead more flexible, self-helping, and constructive lives. And by taking responsibility and gaining awareness of this on my trip, I was able to drink lemonade all week long.