By Eric Sudler, M.S.
As one who has all but mastered standing out and being different, I can say with confidence that it really doesn’t get any easier. My life has been an infinite loop of situations and scenarios where I never quite fit the mold or have to adapt more than my colleagues and contemporaries. Thankfully, being diverse and flexible in nature is my greatest attribute. If it were not, I probably wouldn’t be in the position to type this today.
It’s all about being comfortable with change and discomfort. Expanding your comfort zone is tricky business. There’s always a fear that it will be too much to bear or that it will be, well, uncomfortable. One client was even concerned that he may expand to a point where he may lose a bit of himself.
Unfortunately, a little pain and discomfort is the only way to reduce pain and discomfort. I guarantee the long term benefits will far outweigh the short term feelings of relief. These opportunities to do something you wouldn’t usually do, go places you wouldn’t usually go, or socialize with people you wouldn’t usually spend time with are invaluable and lead to a stronger sense of self. It’s through the difficult and uncomfortable events that we learn about ourselves and grow. Anyone can survive a pleasant experience. So forgive me if I hold my applause. The dedicated individuals persevere through tough and unfamiliar territory, not because it’s fun or easy, but because they know that it will be worth it. They’re not in it for the journey. They are focused solely on the destination.
As someone who has made a lifetime out of adapting to strikingly different situations and challenges, I can assure you that there is a considerable price tag when it comes to increasing your Frustration Tolerance. However, despite the cost, you will receive a superior product in exchange. Of course, I’m talking about a new and improved you. You will be a step closer to peace of mind. You will also gain new knowledge, insight, and a set of coping skills. A litmus test for expanding your comfort zone: if it feels difficult, almost unbearable, you’re on the right track.
So that feeling of losing yourself shouldn’t be one of confusion or terror. Think of it less as losing yourself and more as gaining yourself and living up to your full potential.