By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.
I’m just tryin’ to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company
Sound familiar? If so, it’s probably because you’ve heard these lyrics sung by U2 during a performance of “Stuck in a Moment.” Artists like U2 often use their music as a catalyst for positive change.
Albert Ellis also used music to inspire people to achieve their goals. He rewrote the lyrics of popular tunes to create a humorous and memorable way to teach important REBT concepts. Many songs, in their original form, capture the spirit of REBT. This week, I’ve scrolled through my iPod and have selected songs that focus on coping with Low Frustration Tolerance.
Low Frustration Tolerance, also known as “I-can’t-stand-it-itis,” refers to the inability to tolerate discomfort. Low Frustration Tolerance can lead people to engage in destructive behaviors that temporarily alleviate their frustration. Rather than engage in self-defeating behaviors, REBT emphasizes learning to withstand the frustration that often goes along with achieving long-term gains.
So, feel free to look up the complete lyrics and listen to each of the following songs by U2, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Usher, and Celine Dion. As you listen, think about how each song may help you deal with Low Frustration Tolerance.
Please note, I have selected specific lyrics that are not necessarily listed in the order in which they are sung.
Stuck In A Moment by U2
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
And if, and if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass
I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Well, I won’t back down
No I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won’t back down
No I’ll stand my ground
Won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won’t back down
(I won’t back down)
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
(I won’t back down)
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won’t back down
Burn by Usher
I don’t understand why
See it’s burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don’t mean I want to
What I’m trying to say is that I love you, I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And it’s better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it’s best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it’s over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
That’s The Way It Is by Celine Dion
I can read your mind
And I know your story
I see what you’re going through, yeah
It’s an uphill climb
And I’m feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you, yeah
Don’t surrender
‘Cause you can win
In this thing called love
When you want it the most
There’s no easy way out
When you’re ready to go
And your heart’s left in doubt
Don’t give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that’s the way it is
As we’ve learned from U2, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Usher, and Celine Dion, even if you don’t like being in some situations, you can often stand them. Making it through these challenging experiences builds resilience.
Is there a particular song that has helped you cope with Low Frustration Tolerance? What song would you add to this list?