By Kristen Tobias, M.A.
On the heels of attending an anger workshop at AEI, I read the NYT article about “born frees,” or the generation of individuals who were not directly exposed to apartheid in South Africa. The gist of the article was that older individuals, the ones who had firsthand experience with the evils of apartheid, believed that their successors were not angry enough. The born frees’ lack of inflammatory anger was perceived as indifference to historical battles against apartheid, and the continuing fight for equality that still lies ahead.
In contrast, the younger people who were interviewed for the article expressed a desire to forgive, in an attempt to free to up emotional space to move forward. Forgiveness, an act that includes cessation of resentment and a move away from immobilizing anger, is a view advocated by Mr. Mandela himself. In contrast, we can remain imprisoned by anger–captive to an emotional state that is paralyzed by thoughts about the transgressions of others.
Injustices against civil liberties rightfully incite a reaction in mindful individuals. REBT has a helpful taxonomy for anger reactions to transgressions; the sine qua non is a distinction between healthy anger vs. unhealthy anger, which are qualitatively different. Healthy anger is intense, but exists alongside adaptive and motivating responses (i.e., functional). This type of anger encompasses thoughts and an emotional state that facilitate movement towards a desired end. Unhealthy anger, on the other hand, causes negative consequences for the individual by moving him or her away from their goals (i.e., dysfunctional).
Another REBT anger distinction is that between unhealthy ego anger and unhealthy non-ego anger. Unhealthy ego anger, or ego-defensive anger, occurs when one￢ﾀﾙs self-esteem is threatened, the affront is personal in nature. Unhealthy non-ego anger is the result of something that is considered offensive or immoral, but is not a threat to the individual￢ﾀﾙs view of himself or herself.
Anger, with both its emotional and behavioral consequences, is quite idiosyncratic. Nevertheless, the theory of REBT promotes the adoption of one type of anger–anger that does not control you and moves you closer to your desired goals. The manifestation of healthy anger might look different across individuals, however united in values. In the same vein, Mr. Mandela said something to the effect of, when you seek revenge you live in the past, when you forgive, you live in the future. Perhaps the past should define us to the extent that it allows us to live for the future, a better future.