By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.
The other day I was trying to make my way to the second level of a crowded shopping center. I know the layout well, so I hopped on the escalator, sneaking a peak at the light show above me. Moments later, I realized the escalator wasn’t moving. For a moment, I was still expecting to feel those familiar sensations of the escalator moving beneath my feet. My hand was on the escalator rail when I realized the discrepancy between my thoughts and behavior and the situation at hand.
So caught up in catching a view of the light show, I hadn’t realized the escalator wasn’t working. I began to climb the escalator. All the while, I was thinking how strange it felt to walk up the escalator I expected would be working properly. Has something like this ever happened to you or someone you know? If so, that experience might be viewed as a metaphor that can help you better understand the process of change. Metaphors are often used in REBT for this purpose.
As I reached the top of the escalator, I thought that my experience may be somewhat similar to that of someone who is trying to change a behavior that has become so familiar. You’re faced with a familiar situation and repeat your usual behavior only to find that it doesn’t work. In order to move forward, you can use new techniques even if implementing them feels a bit strange at first. Although you may want to slip back into your old patterns of behavior, you don’t have to. Here’s how:
Get motivated for change. You are the only one who can commit to changing your unhealthy feelings and behaviors. Holding on to your motivation may help you overcome a setback or get you through challenging times. Remember what motivated you to want to change. Most likely, your old way of thinking and behaving wasn’t working for you.
Remember change takes effort. Contrary to what some may believe, change does not magically occur. It takes effort and dedication. This is especially the case when you are trying to change negative thoughts and behaviors you might have crafted over many years. Although you may experience some setbacks, you can reassess your progress and continue to move towards your goals.
Take small steps. It’s often best to start off with gradual changes and work your way up. For example – If you are a novice who wanted to run a marathon, you’d probably want to start with jogging around your block a few times and gradually build endurance.
Practice. Whether it’s identifying irrational beliefs, disputing your irrational beliefs, or rehearsing rational coping statements, practicing frequently will help you achieve your goals sooner than if you’re practicing sporadically.
So, if you’re having a difficult time making positive changes in your life, consider what metaphors could help you along the process.