By Shonda Lackey, Ph.D.
When you think of someone who is powerful, what is the first image that comes to mind? Do you imagine someone with a great career, a lot of money, and several luxury homes and cars? Maybe not. But if you do, you’re far from alone.
This week, I read an article by Deepak Chopra which focuses on different types of power. In his article, “The Secret to Personal Power,” Chopra makes the point that personal power is defined by who you are, not what you do. He suggests answering the following questions to assess your personal power:
• Am I immune to criticism but responsive to feedback?
• Do I feel that I’m beneath no one and superior to no one?
• Do I feel fearless?
• Am I standing up for my own truth?
• Do I find myself in the company of those who seek the truth (and act cautious around those who claim to have found it)?
• Do I exist in mutual respect with everyone I encounter?
• Do I feel the kind of courtesy that comes from the heart?
• Do I know when to defer and when to assert myself?
My favorite question from the list focuses on getting to the point where you believe you are no better or worse than anyone else. From an REBT perspective, this belief is at the heart of self-acceptance and other-acceptance. The belief that you are neither superior nor inferior to no one also seems to be at the core of personal power. When you are able to think this way, it will be reflected in the way you feel and behave. That means less jealousy, anxiety, depression, and more time to live a life full of purpose.
The greatest barrier to developing self-acceptance, other-acceptance, and personal power is comparison. If you really want to further develop your personal power, clarify your values, stop comparing yourself to others, and be thankful for what you have.