By Kristen Tobias, M.A.
The theory of REBT postulates that people possess the intrinsic capability to think both rationally and irrationally. We actually all engage in both types of thinking, but differ in the degree to which each type is our M.O. One type of irrational thinking is, awfulizing, which is a tendency to focus on, or exaggerate, the negative aspects of a situation. Ellis made the clear distinction between that which represented what was truly awful, horrible, terrible, or the worst, from what was bad, unfortunate, a hassle, or difficult. Something is awful or horrible only if you can truly imagine nothing worse.
The thing about defining something as awful, is that this classification will likely have a negative impact on our mood, despite any potential benefits. Ellis pointed out that awfulizing about events could be advantageous because it allows us to attune to things, can serve as the impetus for change, or allow us to prevent undesirable outcomes. However, he believed that the negative effects of awfulizing outweigh the benefits.
Stress, to some extent, is unavoidable. From an evolutionary perspective, the acute stress response is adaptive in that it engenders a physiological reaction that promotes survival through optimization of available resources. The protective effects of this response, however, are susceptible to becoming damaging if chronically activated. Thus, Ellis advocated that we be “healthily concerned and vigilant” as opposed to “unhealthily panicked and horrified.”
Naturally, you must now be thinking, “How do we get to this highly desirable rational place?” Firstly, we need to retrain our susceptibility to think (consciously or unconsciously) that bad things are awful (again, that which cannot get any worse). This will take conscious, repeated restructuring of our thoughts, because this is not just changing our language, but qualitatively changing our view of the badness of an event.
As part of an anti-awfulizing M.O., we also need to accept unfortunate events, even as we try to change them. Importantly, we will optimize our chances of dealing with frustration or setbacks when we remain mentally undisturbed. As with the development of any new habit, relapse is the norm and not the exception. Tolerance for awfulizing setbacks will help us to understand triggers and prepare for an anti-awfulizing future!