by William Taboas, M.A.
Goal setting is a frequently discussed topic, not just in therapy settings, but across disciplines and personal matters. However, most of us don’t have a method for effective goal setting. We may have unrealistic expectations or very vague and abstract goals. So, in the spirit of integrating philosophies that jive well with RE&CBT, I’m taking a page from Dr. Robert Wubbolding’s Reality Therapy: What do you want? What are doing and which direction are you taking to get it? How effective is the thing you are doing? What is the next step of your plan?
So, what do you want? What is your goal? Define it in its entirety, not just in notion and abstract ideas. Make sure you get specific of what your goal is and how your life would be any different once you have what you want. Also, make sure your goal is measurable. What would you be able to do once you get what you want?
Now let’s talk about what you are doing to reach that goal. Wishing for it is not enough. There has to be some sort of action and steps to attain it. Also, make sure that any actions that you take serve to get you in the right direction towards the goal. Make an action plan if you have to, and break the goal down into smaller and manageable steps. Get into a mindset of not thinking about the top of the mountain. Think about tackling the mountain step-by-step. This will aid with procrastination or making excuses not to work on your goal. Waiting to “feel like doing” something is not enough. So address any negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions that interfere.
Next, evaluate your goals, actions, and mindset. Are your goals realistic, reasonable, and achievable? Are your actions aligned with your goals? Are you behaving in a manner in which you get in your own way? Evaluate your commitment to your goals and the utility of your plan. Thinking about your life values and how short-term and long-term goals fit into them might give you a good compass.
Finally, have a general plan and philosophy for change in every step of the way. Remember that you want plans for goals that are clear, simple to understand, attainable, observable, and measurable. Make sure that you can work on them daily (even bit-by-bit). Determine if the plan is within your control given your limitations, or is it attainable more so with the aid of others. Keep yourself on track, and before you know it, your small steps will lead to the finish line.
Oh, and have fun!
