by Elissa Habinsky, M.A., M.S.
Recently, two people I know submerged their iPhones in water. The first jumped into a swimming pool (when the weather was a bit warmer) later to realize that he had his iPhone in the pocket of his swimsuit. The other one accidently put his iPhone in the washing machine. When I asked the former about the incident, he explained how angry he was. Not only was he phoneless for a few days, but he also had to spend a great deal of money on replacing the phone. In terms of his emotional reaction, he was angry, but rather than being mad at the situation, he was angry at himself. He explained that he felt this way because, although he hated to admit it, he has dropped his phone in water before. He stated, “I should have known better.”
Anger at oneself is unique from anger at others. It is also different from depression, however there is little research on the subject. If you were to google, “anger turned inward” you would find a breadth of information about depression. Specifically, you would read about the psychodynamic theory that anger towards others gets turned against ourselves, and that anger converted into self-hatred causes depression. Yet this does not speak to the iPhone issue at hand.
Furthermore, when we think of depression, the behaviors that go along with it tend to be social withdrawal, disinterest in previously pleasurable activities, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, difficulty concentrating, and irritability to name a few. Such behaviors differ significantly from those associated with anger at oneself. Another important difference is the thoughts associated with depression versus anger at oneself. With depression, thoughts tend to be focused on the self as worthless and the future as hopeless. In contrast, thoughts associated with anger towards the self suggests that one does have control in life and that is what precisely results in the anger. For example, “I should have known better”, “I have control of where I keep my iPhone” and “I could have avoided this mess in the first place.” On the whole, both the behaviors and thoughts associated with anger towards the self appear more adaptive than those associated with depression.
In sum, there are clear differences between depression and anger at the self and these differences need to be further evaluated and explored. Sense of control or lack thereof may be an important key to understanding these two emotions.
