by William Taboas, M.A.
We are often told that in order to reach our goals, dreams, or achievements, we should work hard until we get them. In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), the model often encourages people to keep trying their best by not demanding perfection, by not catastrophizing/awfulizing about the averted outcome, and by not damning the self if the desired outcome does not occur. And, in response to Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT) beliefs, Albert Ellis encouraged clients to develop High Frustration Tolerance by motivating people to work hard, work consistently, and work methodically. However, some people are left with the idea that working hard will guarantee that you will reach your goal, and while hard work is essential, it is not the only element required for growth.
I was recently reading a blog entry on the misconceptions of Carol Dweck’s growth mindsets, where I found myself drawing connections between Ellis’ and Dweck’s work. A common misconception is like the one stated above: if I want to grow and reach my potential or reach my goals, I must work hard, I must be open and flexible, and I must be resilient. These elements, however preferential they may be, only form part of the picture (and also notice how I phrased them as demands). This “fixed” mindset, as it is referred to, holds on to the notion that in order to improve, we must have the qualities stated above. In contrast, a growth mindset is recognizing that intelligence and abilities are continually developed and are not fixed or stagnant. Ellis and Dweck also wrote about how not just working hard, but reflecting on and thinking differently about your methods of learning and goal-reaching, are more in line with growth.
Ellis’ REBT and the CBT world believe in these tenets of change and growth. We have decades of data showing how growth can be fostered, and abilities can be continually developed. Ellis wrote many self-help books that encourage change with a growth mindset, as well as self-reflection about your beliefs and methods related to learning. Now for some reflection time: Are you demanding that in order for you to grow you MUST and SHOULD have certain qualities (demanding that you should already be different)? When was the last time you reflected on the way and methods you are going about your own personal growth? Would you say you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?
References:
Briceño, E. (2015, November 16). Growth Mindset: Clearing up Some Common Confusions. Retrieved December 2, 2015, from http://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2015/11/16/growth-mindset-clearing-up-some-common-confusions/
