by Brianna Cheney, M.A.
Like many people, I often find myself worrying about situations after they happen. As a student, I habitually worried about how I did on exams after taking them and now, as a professional, about how I did with presentations and interviews after they have passed.
When my fellow graduate students and I share such thoughts with our academic mentor, he unfailingly responds by stating that you don’t get points for worrying. As simple as it is, this saying is a helpful prompt to evaluate whether my worrying is self-enhancing or self-defeating. REBT maintains that such worries can be helpful if they lead to concern that ultimately motivates self-enhancing action, such as preparing more carefully for the next exam or interview (e.g., I wish I had studied more, but the midterm exam is over now and the most I can do is study more for the final). On the other hand, REBT holds that such worried thoughts can be unhelpful if they lead to all-consuming anxiety that prevents self-enhancing action (e.g., What if I failed the exam and that leads me to fail the course? That would be awful!). In the latter instance, our worried thoughts hijack our ability to think about a productive course of action.
Next time you find yourself paralyzed by what-if thoughts, you might ask yourself if there is anything you can do to act on the situation. If so, take action! If not, you might consider how your mental and emotional energy could be better spent, given that we don’t get points for worrying!
