by Brianna Cheney, M.A.
In REBT, most therapy sessions are dedicated to identifying, challenging and replacing irrational beliefs that lead to emotional distress. In addition to working on cognitive change, REBT therapists help clients implement behavioral changes that are consistent with a more rational way of thinking and are in line with their goals for therapy (thus, the “B” in REBT).
Behavioral interventions are widely used to help individuals overcome anxiety disorders, such as behavioral exposure for OCD and PTSD, but they can also be helpful for breaking down irrational belief systems, such as those related to perfectionism. Perfectionistic beliefs often take the form of rigid demands that we place on ourselves (e.g., “I must not make any mistakes during this presentation” or “I must look perfect for this date!”) which are often accompanied by catastrophizing thoughts about what will happen if we do not meet these demands (“… or else my boss is going to think I’m incompetent” and “… or else there’s no way this person will want a second date!”). With this type of thinking, we place tremendous pressure on ourselves, which often leads to anxiety and avoidance of situations where we fear we cannot perform perfectly.
The path to overcoming perfectionism requires us to think about our thoughts (e.g., “Must I really give a perfect presentation? What am I afraid of happening if it’s not perfect? Could I stand it if that did happen?”), but sometimes also to behave imperfectly in order to evaluate the validity of these beliefs. For example, if you are demanding that you “look perfect” for dates or social events and agonizing over the details of your appearance, you might challenge yourself to go on a few dates looking “imperfect,” perhaps wearing wrinkled clothing or little-to-no make-up. This behavioral challenge will allow you to see what happens when you do not fulfill your own perfectionistic demands and, thus, the opportunity to correct any catastrophizing beliefs you have about imperfection. There is –of course- a good chance that you will feel anxious or embarrassed, but there is also a high probability that you will live through the experience — and realize that you can tolerate the emotional discomfort!
