by Deniz Sidali, M.A.
Some of us have difficulty envisioning our future, while others have high expectations of what the future may hold. It would be nice if we could look into a crystal ball and see into our future. I often wonder if people would like to know what the future may hold in order to seek certainty for a brighter tomorrow. The fact of the matter is, we would all prefer to have a brighter, better future…but it certainly isn’t guaranteed that this will be the case. If we place high demands on ourselves that, “I must be a successful person in the future and get married, have three kids, and live in the lap of luxury”, we may be setting ourselves up for potential failure and disappointment. Instead, if we were to rephrase this statement in the form of the preference, “I would prefer to be successful in my career, but I can still work towards success while enjoying what I do and not worrying about it”. Or, “It would be nice to marry one day and have children, but I can still find meaning in life without these things.” Sometimes contemplating this alternative can lead to feelings of unhealthy anxiety, doubt, sadness and hopelessness in others. Other times, people may think that they have nothing to lose and should focus on trying to maximize and enjoy every moment or opportunity in their lives right now. What I tell others including myself is, “Nothing risked, nothing lost”. The simple truth of the matter is that if you don’t take chances out of fears of jeopardizing your future, you may never get the opportunity to actualize your dreams or goals leading to a brighter tomorrow. Remember: “A parked car doesn’t go anywhere”. It always amazes me as to how people are unhappy with their present status of their lives, while holding high expectations for a brighter future. So, I ask them, “How can you be happy and expect to have a brighter future when you cannot enjoy the moment now?” Most people will say, “Hmmm. I never thought of it that way. You have got a good point”. Or, still others may remark, “Well, if I only had a big house, good man in my life, and made a lot of money I would be happy”. Well, materials things are just that…material. They may make us happy momentarily but not in a deeper sense.
So, what can I and you do in the meantime? Try to live every moment as though it were your last. In fact, it may be helpful to write your own obituary to get in touch with how you would like to be remembered, being as specific as possible. Then, think about whether you have met any of these statements you have written down. Ask yourself how you might go about achieving them by breaking down long-term goals into short-term, attainable ones. Focus on the positives in your life by listing five things you are grateful for (i.e., food, shelter, clothing, family, good health, decent income are some of mine). Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today, right now. Just do it! Just live!
