by Deniz Sidali, M.A.
Last week was not a good week for me and other fans of the artist, Prince who suddenly passed away at a very young age. I grew up avidly listening to Prince’s music and remember bopping away on the dance floor in my pink bridesmaid’s dress at my brother’s wedding to his hit song “Let’s Go Crazy”. One of the first lyrics to this song goes, “Dearly beloved We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life”. To me it seems like when Prince died, an important era in our lives died with him. Since he passed away last Thursday, I have watched the break out movie Purple Rain, several times, looked up his videos on YouTube, listened to rare interviews with him, and become obsessed with holding onto his legacy and keeping it alive. I keep asking myself, “Why did he have to die so young?” I felt guilty that I never saw him in concert and now missed this opportunity forever. I tried doing REBT on myself to alleviate some of my sadness and guilt by telling myself, “It would have been wonderful if he could have lived longer, but tomorrow isn’t promised to any one. And when our time comes, we will all encounter the same fate”. “It isn’t good that he passed away, but at least he was able to bless the world with his talent”.
Beyond his talent as a musician, I discovered that he was very spiritual, private, humble, and practiced forms of REBT and mindfulness during a rare 1999 interview with Prince on Larry King Live. For instance, Larry King asked Prince if he ever had a rough life with his father who was a disciplinary, Prince responded, “Well, I don’t consider it rough. I don’t dwell on the past or look back at my life. I just try to live in the now and stay in the now. I think it keeps you young”. Being present, not ruminating on one’s past hardships is basically rooted in REBT and mindfulness. By the way, this interview was right after Prince lost his infant son after a week following his birth, and he was going through a divorce from his wife. Prince’s demeanor throughout the interview was calm, reflective and laser focused. Prince talked about choosing not to hold any animosity towards his record company and chose to work. His understanding or perception of his experience with the record company and not the experience (activating event) itself enabled him to learn from it. He proceeded to say, “I don’t believe in fighting. I believe in looking at things exactly as they are. No one can make you feel anything.” “If people seek something else, it means they are lacking something else”.
Larry King proceeded to ask Prince, “What kinds of things do you worry about?” This question was in reference to Prince’s two decade long battle with his music label over the rights of his music. To my surprise, Prince stated, “Well, I don’t really worry about much. I just focus on what I need to do and my music”. King asked him, “Are you bitter about what happened with the record company?” Prince replied, “No, not really.” Although he was blessed with talent and fortune, a lot of times this is accompanied with tremendous burden and challenges. He eventually won his creative ownership rights over his songs and albums, and paved the way for other artists to do the same. He did it with grace, and stood firm on his beliefs without compromising them. Many interviews with his close circle of friends, basically reiterated that he was immensely private, one of the hardest working artists, and would help his friend’s get past their adversity by helping them to stop worrying about their problems and solving them. He was also a great humanitarian who helped many good causes, and refused to talk about it or receive credit for his benevolent acts. He focused on what he could change that was within his control, while leaving what he couldn’t change in the hands of a higher spiritual being. Whether Prince knew it or not, he thought, believed and practiced a lot of things akin to REBT and mindfulness. Prince, you will sorely be missed.
