by Johna Hansen, LCSW
Have you ever made yourself feel depressed by determining the fate of your entire day based on rating one simple event that occurred? For instance, a friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook, “You know what kind of day you are going to have when your waffle with peanut butter falls face down on your desk at work”. After reading her post, I wondered…when did my friend become a psychic? How does she know what the rest of her day will look like based on this one event? Also, when something else goes wrong, will my friend blame the waffle? If so, will telling herself it was the waffle’s fault make her feel better? I’m guessing that she isn’t a psychic and that she still won’t feel better even if she says it was the waffle’s fault. At the point the waffle fell, most likely she told herself that all activities in her day “MUST go perfectly” and if they don’t “it will be AWFUL” or she “WON’T be able to STAND IT”. For my friend, me, and anyone else who is reading this who has ever rated their entire day based on one event, here’s what I suggest for us: Instead of disturbing ourselves, it would be healthier to work toward feeling sad or disappointed instead of depressed when something doesn’t work out to our satisfaction. To do so, we could start telling ourselves that life is full of unexpected events. Also, when an unexpected event occurs, we could say “what a hassle”, “most likely this is an isolated event and if it’s not, I will be able to handle the next thing that comes my way,” deal with the consequences of the unexpected event, and focus on the next task at hand. Most likely, we will be able to move on to the next activity without feeling depressed and be able to rate the next activity separate from the disappointing event.
