by Stephanie Schwartz, M.S.
With the holiday season approaching people often begin thinking about ways they can better themselves in the new year. Spend more time with loved ones, travel more, get fit, lose weight, spend less, save more, etc. Whatever it may be for you- the general premise is the same – these are statements about how one can change and improve. New Years resolutions can certainly be positive if they motivate you to feel healthy emotions and achieve your goals. However, when you come up with New Years resolutions it’s important to be aware of using rational rather than irrational statements. An example is telling yourself, “I would like to spend more time with my family” rather than “I have to spend more time with my family.” The former is a preference and may lead to negative functional emotions (e.g., concern), which still allow us to work toward our goals. The latter is a demand, and such beliefs lead to negative dysfunctional emotions (e.g., anxiety, anger), which typically block us from achieving our goals. Furthermore, as fallible individuals we may not reach a goal or behave in the way we intend to at all times. If the belief held about the goal was an irrational, demanding belief, it may elicit feelings of guilt or shame. If the belief was rational and framed instead as a preference, you may instead feel disappointment. So, if you decide to come up with New Years resolutions do consider your choice of words!
