by Carly Mayer, M.S.
I always knew that balance was a difficult thing, but recently, I have realized what that really means. As a graduate student I have responsibilities at school and at my externship as well as with my family and friends. While I did not expect my fourth year in my doctoral program to be the most difficult in terms of balance, somehow it has become that. In previous years I was able to balance my social life and my school/work responsibilities without difficulty. However, this year my friends and family will try to set up a dinner and I instantly feel anxiety. Seemingly automatically I begin to think that I do not have time to go to dinner AND get my work done, but I HAVE TO see my friends or I am a BAD friend.
Instead of demanding that I have to see my friends or evaluating myself as a bad friend, I can change these beliefs to be more flexible. So, although I would like to see my friends, I may not be able to see them if I have work to complete for school and if I do not see them, it does not make me a bad friend. Through practice and repetition I can help myself to see that I do not need to feel anxious about missing time spent with people I care about, but can instead feel disappointed that I will miss out, while realizing that I have other responsibilities that must take priority at that particular moment.
