By Tom Kelly, M.S.
This week I was going to write about a behavior I would like to change. I began to write about my tendency to eat junk food, despite my goal of eating healthy. However, I realized that I have already written about this goal. I have aimed to change my unhealthy eating for quite some time, and for long enough I have already written about strategies for change!
When observing that I have not made significant progress toward my goal, I have come to the realization that there are different options I may take. One choice is to accept myself as being an individual that eats junk food, and not place an evaluation or condemn myself for these behaviors. This degree of self-acceptance would be helpful in changing the guilt I experience when I find myself eating ice cream or candy to something more like regret.
An additional choice I have is to strengthen the pursuit of my goal. I may understand philosophically that I do not need junk food, but on a day-to-day basis, my thinking comes nowhere close to my philosophy. That is, I work much harder on telling myself I need or deserve to eat whatever foods I like, and do a much poorer job of debating this thought. I think it is clear that I have not put my strategies to good use.
These two options seem to be mutually exclusive, as I can either accept myself as a junk food eating individual, or change myself into a non-junk food eater. However, I believe they can exist together. It is possible to accept (but not like) your bad behaviors when they occur, and not condemn yourself for them, while also working to change them. I will work on new ways of thinking that will allow for me to put away the ice cream, and can accept myself during the times when I have finished the pint of Ben and Jerry’s. By accepting myself as an individual who has done a bad behavior, I am choosing to not condemn myself, but this does not preclude me from continuing to make changes toward future behaviors. Failing to reach my goal does not make me a failed human, but it also does not give me the right to continue to fail at my goal. I will aim to combine these strategies to become less of a junk food eater. Now, where are those M & M’s????
